Celtica's Loft

A lifetime is not long enough

2011-10-21T11:01:00.010-05:00

Because I Could Not Stop For Death

By Emily Dickinson

Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality.

We slowly drove, he knew no haste,
And I had put away
My labour, and my leisure too,
For his civility.

We passed the school where children played,
Their lessons scarcely done;
We passed the fields of gazing grain,
We passed the setting sun.

We paused before a house that seemed
A swelling of the ground;
The roof was scarcely visible,
The cornice but a mound.

Since then 'tis centuries; but each
Feels shorter than the day
I first surmised the horses' heads
Were toward eternity.

I never thought that having a child would cause me to dwell on this fragile human condition we call life. Since the day I first held my baby boy the paranoia set it...the relentless worry. It's my job to protect him and there are so many things in this world that I want to defend him against. Some are obvious...others...not so much.

A few weeks ago I looked at him and thought "I want to spend a lifetime with you". As soon as that thought dissipated it occurred to me....a lifetime doesn't seem long enough. I want to rock him on the front porch until he's 110. In reality...I probably only have a few more months before the "Let me down" revolt begins.

I thought that time had sped up for every year that I aged. No, that was slow compared to now. Just yesterday my husband was cutting the cord and today my baby is almost five months old.

His little smile and big sparkling eyes make me forget life before him. They also evoke a primal force within me that makes me want to annihalate anything that would dare remove that smile or cause pain to be reflected in those beautiful eyes.

I am so very thankful that I've been given the chance to thoroughly soak up every second of him. I just pray to God that he wraps his hand around my little guy and shields him from all the bad...and helps him to see the good that gets overlooked by most.

Protection...and more time...I guess that is what my rambling boils down to.

Mother's really do carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. It's a burden and an absolute joy to care so much.

Thank you Liam for changing my life. You've brought out the best in me. By the time you're old enough to read this you should already know just how much mommy loves you. Since I'm sure I'll repeat myself plenty...I'll go ahead and say...I love you to the moon and back. Also, all those silly annoying things I do...I'm just trying to protect you. The times I'm hovering over you...I'm just watching you grow. I don't wanna miss a thing.

Day one

4 1/2 months

Quote the Ravens: Cover Story Contest 2011

2011-09-26T13:20:00.005-05:00

Gaelsong, my favorite on-line store, is holding a contest. The first place prize is a $1000 gift card. All I had to do was describe what the photo means to me...and...get YOU to vote. Yes...I know...I'm asking for votes again. Do you blame me? I mean come on...favorite store...$1000 bucks...Christmas shopping and birthday shopping. What more could this lowly housewife want? :Queue violin music: I mean...it's not like I have a paying job anymore. Mom's work longer hours than anybody! So...go ahead...follow that link and vote for me....give me a paycheck! I would greatly appreciate it! Thanks :-).

Simply Magic

It is the epitome of Fall; the mystery and electricity in the air.
It is ritual and rite.
The photo makes me think of mulled cider in front of a fireplace;
the crackle of a bonfire on a crisp Autumn night.
It brings back the excitement I felt as a child on Halloween.
I can almost smell the pumpkin spice and the fallen leaves.
It makes me want to recite Edgar Allen Poe by candlelight;
to reach out to that other world that is a little more visible this time of year.
It's simply magic.

Born This Way Body Arts Design Contest

2011-09-20T22:04:00.005-05:00

Yes it's another contest I've entered! This one was fun and it gave this housewife/mommy something to do aside from wash dishes and change poopy diapers. I felt like I was back in my college art classes. I miss those days!

At any rate, please go on over and vote for me...or you can vote for a good piece of art...but umm...I'd really like to win :wink:. I'm not above bribery. :wafts the smell of baked goodies out into the internets:

"Like" the shops pages. If you are looking for a tattoo or piercing I highly recommend "Born This Way Body Arts". The shop is filled with friendly, fun, and talented artists. They crack me up daily on Facebook. It seems like a great place to be and I've considered begging them to just let me sweep their floors or something :-D.

Born This Way Body Arts on Facebook

Look for the photo album named "Design Contest". Find my drawing and "Like".

They also have a fan page:

Born This Way - Fan Page

My baby boy was the inspiration for my piece. The name "Born This Way" means so much. It's a great reminder to us all to be true to ourselves. Babies are pure. They have yet to reach the age where they start to change and conform to please others.

My sweet Liam is completely content with himself and his happy smiling face just sparkles. I'm 31 years old and I've just recently learned to...be me....and be happy with ME.

I gave the baby in my drawing a tattoo (it says MOM by the way), eyebrow ring, and an ear gauge to give him a little self expression. He's sitting on a lotus flower. Aside from being a beautiful flower it represents femininity...childbirth...and the cycle of life. I took a picture of the sketch and then made the photo itself look like a sketch. I love drawing. I'm not that great at it but it's almost a form of meditation for me. Sketching gives me the "warm fuzzies" in other words. Looking at my photo/sketch takes me to my happy place.

I'm glad I entered this contest. It reminded me of how much I miss drawing, painting.....creating! It even inspired me to join the 2012 Sketchbook Project.

Art House Co-op

:ahem: I digress. Go on over and vote for me pretty please. :bats eyelashes: Voting begins on October 1st.

Thanks! Also, a great big thanks to Born This Way Body Arts for the fun opportunity :-).

To My Son

2011-09-20T09:50:00.005-05:00

If by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings -- nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -- Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And -- which is more -- you'll be a Man, my son!

That's one of my favorite poems and it speaks volumes.

Liam, my goal is to teach you...and to learn from you. You've already taught me so much about how precious every second of life is. You've taught me what unconditional love it...what true happiness is. I can only hope to repay you by teaching you some of the things I've learned.

There are people in this world who seem as if their only ambition in life is to tear you apart...to bring you down. Do not stoop to their level...do not hate these people. They are merely lost and missing an important component of themselves.

Don't trust anyone that can't look you in the eyes.

Never speak ill of someone as it only makes you look bad.
Be true to yourself. Don't change to make others happy. It only results in unhappiness for yourself.

Appreciate the small things.

Be perceptive. Understand that people don't just speak with words.

It isn't what happens to you that molds you...it's how you deal with it. You can choose to be bitter or happy. Go with happy.

Nobody is perfect.

The ones you love most...may eventually break your heart. See above. Nobody is perfect. Forgiveness is key.

You are not a doormat. Hold your ground.

Tell the people you love just how much you love them every chance you get. We never know when it'll be our last chance to do so.

Don't treat people how they treat you. Treat them how you want to be treated. You may teach them a thing or two about manners.

Everyone has a story. Never assume anything about anyone. Just because someone is different...doesn't make them less of a person.

Marching to your own beat...is a wonderful quality.

Doing the right thing isn't always easy but it's worth it.

Keep the faith. Life will test you. Nobody said it would be easy.

Your self worth has nothing to do with how much money you have, how handsome you are, the clothes you wear etc. A nice bum is better than a rude arrogant millionaire.

Friends and family are the hot commodities. Sure, you can't live on love but it sure makes life worth living.

Words are powerful. Choose wisely.

Don't be too proud to admit when you're wrong. It takes a true man to do so. Those who can't are weak.

The older you get...the more all of this will make sense.

A true friend will not try to talk you into doing something stupid. Just tell them to go first...and walk away. Trust me.

True love is unconditional.

You might hate me at some point...but later...you're gonna love me for it.
Your parents have lived through the teenage years. We do know what we're talking about.

Respect women. Also, you don't need one that doesn't respect herself. She won't respect you.

No matter how badly you mess up...I'll always love you.

Always be open and honest.

True strength does not lie in muscles.

People come in all different shapes...sizes...colors. There's beauty in everyone.

Just because someone doesn't agree with you...doesn't make them wrong or you right.

Everyone is allowed their opinion. Educate yourself. Think for yourself.

Say your prayers and count your blessings.

Know that I love you...beyond measure...always.

It Came From the Kitchen: Episode 2

2011-09-19T20:38:00.001-05:00

Zucchini Brownies

Ok so I'm on a limited calorie diet. However, I must have chocolate or else all of mankind is in danger of my...bitchiness. Therefore, I had to find a recipe for some sort of figure friendly chocolate yum yum. I wanted something that would incorporate a fruit and or vegetable as well. What's better than something sweet and delicious that's good for you too?!

I stumbled across "Zucchini Brownies". The recipe I found is as follows:

Cassie's Zucchini Brownies

INGREDIENTS:
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 cup white sugar
2 eggs
2 cups grated zucchini
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup chopped walnuts

DIRECTIONS:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease a 10x15 inch jellyroll pan.
2. In a large mixing bowl, sift together flour, salt, soda, cocoa, and sugar. Combine eggs, zucchini, oil, and vanilla; blend into dry ingredients. Stir in walnuts.
3. Bake for 20 minutes in preheated oven. Cool in the pan, and then cut into bars.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED © 2011 Allrecipes.com 9/19/2011

I left out the walnuts since those are extra calories. I cut the oil in half and added a single serving cup of unsweetened applesauce. I could have left out the oil altogether but I was curious as to what the oil/applesauce ratio would do. I used natural cane sugar instead of the refined stuff. Also, I threw in a couple handfuls of brown sugar (yeah I said handfuls). I added an extra egg because well...I had three small eggs left in the fridge. I also added a few tablespoons of Hershey's syrup to the batter.

The "brownies" turned out to be more of a cake. If you prefer chewy brownies...I know I do...leave out the eggs. If you aren't trying to cut calories...throw in some chocolate chips. I ended up putting a Hershey's Syrup glaze on the top. They just weren't chocolatey enough for me.

My zucchini was a little dry so the batter was pretty thick. I ended up baking for 22 minutes anyway.

After sitting overnight and soaking up the syrup they were pretty tasty. I still ended up with a somewhat low calorie treat even with the addition of the syrup. Cutting the pan into 24 pieces made the bars about 150ish calories each.

As a variation, I think adding mashed overripe bananas instead of zucchini would be nice. Maybe even some instant coffee in the mix would give it a kick. Some Nutella on the top would have been delicious. I suppose next time I could throw in some carob bits to keep it healthy :shrug:.

I was very tempted to spice things up with some chili powder. Maybe next time I'll forget the zucchini and just make some spicy dark chocolate brownies. That'll burn some calories!

Little Boys

2011-09-15T10:37:00.003-05:00

I'm pretty convinced that my son was born perfect. Every little part of him was made just as God intended. Yet...during the first day of life outside my tummy...he was wheeled away from me to have a part of him removed.

Why? Last I checked...we're not Jewish.

"It's for health reasons"

Horse apples!!!

Tell me...WHAT health reasons?!?

People have been so programmed to regurgitate the "health reasons" response that they don't even think twice about it.

I questioned it and not a single person could tell me exactly what health issues are prevented by mutilating my sons...boyhood.

I'm sorry but I'm the type of person who needs to know "WHY". Give me a good reason...make sure it's backed by proof...and I'm a happy mommy. I'm sorry if I offend any doctor friends out there...but come on people...doctors aren't always right. Educate yourself.

At any rate...my sweet baby boy was trimmed of his foreskin. I let the parent with the penis make the final decision. I've regretted it every day since it was done. I feel horrible for what I allowed to be done to my son. My stance was and always will be...it's barbaric and uncalled for.

Also, don't give me the whole "appearance" argument. There's no such thing as a penis beauty pageant sooo hush.

Below are a few great articles taken from one of my favorite reads, Psychology Today.

Part 1 - Circumcision Surgery Myths

Myth 1: They just cut off a flap of skin.

Reality check: Not true. The foreskin is half of the penis's skin, not just a flap. In an adult man, the foreskin is 15 square inches of skin. In babies and children, the foreskin is adhered to the head of the penis with the same type of tissue that adheres fingernails to their nail beds. Removing it requires shoving a blunt probe between the foreskin and the head of the penis and then cutting down and around the whole penis. Check out these photos: http://www.drmomma.org/2011/08/intact-or-circumcised-significant.html

Myth 2: It doesn't hurt the baby.

Reality check: Wrong. In 1997, doctors in Canada did a study to see what type of anesthesia was most effective in relieving the pain of circumcision. As with any study, they needed a control group that received no anesthesia. The doctors quickly realized that the babies who were not anesthetized were in so much pain that it would be unethical to continue with the study. Even the best commonly available method of pain relief studied, the dorsal penile nerve block, did not block all the babies' pain. Some of the babies in the study were in such pain that they began choking and one even had a seizure (Lander 1997).

Myth 3: My doctor uses anesthesia.

Reality check: Not necessarily. Most newborns do not receive adequate anesthesia. Only 45% of doctors who do circumcisions use any anesthesia at all. Obstetricians perform 70% of circumcisions and are least likely to use anesthesia - only 25% do. The most common reasons why they don't? They didn't think the procedure warranted it, and it takes too long (Stang 1998). A circumcision with adequate anesthesia takes a half-hour - if they brought your baby back sooner, he was in severe pain during the surgery.

Myth 4: Even if it is painful, the baby won't remember it.

Reality check: The body is a historical repository and remembers everything. The pain of circumcision causes a rewiring of the baby's brain so that he is more sensitive to pain later (Taddio 1997, Anand 2000). Circumcision also can cause post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anger, low self-esteem and problems with intimacy (Boyle 2002, Hammond 1999, Goldman 1999). Even with a lack of explicit memory and the inability to protest - does that make it right to inflict pain? Law requires anesthesia for animal experimentation - do babies deserve any less?

Myth 5: My baby slept right through it.

Reality check: Not possible without total anesthesia, which is not available. Even the dorsal penile nerve block leaves the underside of the penis receptive to pain. Babies go into shock, which though it looks like a quiet state, is actually the body's reaction to profound pain and distress. Nurses often tell the parents "He slept right through it" so as not to upset them. Who would want to hear that his or her baby was screaming in agony?

Myth 6: It doesn't cause the baby long-term harm.

Reality check: Incorrect. Removal of healthy tissue from a non-consenting patient is, in itself, harm (more on this point later). Circumcision has an array of risks and side effects. There is a 1-3% complication rate during the newborn period alone (Schwartz 1990). Here is a short list potential complications.

Meatal Stenosis: Many circumcised boys and men suffer from meatal stenosis. This is a narrowing of the urethra which can interfere with urination and require surgery to fix.

Adhesions. Circumcised babies can suffer from adhesions, where the foreskin remnants try to heal to the head of the penis in an area they are not supposed to grow on. Doctors treat these by ripping them open with no anesthesia.

Buried penis. Circumcision can lead to trapped or buried penis - too much skin is removed, and so the penis is forced inside the body. This can lead to problems in adulthood when the man does not have enough skin to have a comfortable erection. Some men even have their skin split open when they have an erection. There are even more sexual consequences, which we will address in a future post.

Infection. The circumcision wound can become infected. This is especially dangerous now with the prevalence of hospital-acquired multi-drug resistant bacteria.

Death. Babies can even die of circumcision. Over 100 newborns die each year in the USA, mostly from loss of blood and infection (Van Howe 1997 & 2004, Bollinger 2010).

There's a lot of hype about how circumcision is better for a man's health. But is it really?

Here is Part 2 of our series on myths about circumcision.

First author is Lillian Dell'Aquila Cannon*

Myth: You have to get the baby circumcised because it is really hard to keep a baby's penis clean.

Reality check: In babies, the foreskin is completely fused to the head of the penis. You cannot and should not retract it to clean it, as this would cause the child pain, and is akin to trying to clean the inside of a baby girl's vagina. The infant foreskin is perfectly designed to protect the head of the penis and keep feces out. All you have to do is wipe the outside of the penis like a finger. It is harder to keep circumcised baby's penis clean because you have to carefully clean around the wound, make sure no feces got into the wound, and apply ointment.

Myth: Little boys won't clean under their foreskins and will get infections.

Reality check: The foreskin separates and retracts on its own sometime between age 3 and puberty. Before it retracts on its own, you wipe the outside off like a finger. After it retracts on its own, it will get clean during the boy's shower or bath. Once a boy discovers this cool, new feature of his penis, he will often retract the foreskin himself during his bath or shower, and you can encourage him to rinse it off. But he should not use soap as this upsets the natural balance and is very irritating. There is nothing special that the parents need to do. Most little boys have absolutely no problem playing with their penises in the shower or anywhere else! It was harder to teach my boys to wash their hair than it was to care for their penises. (Camille 2002)

Myth: Uncircumcised penises get smelly smegma.

Reality check: Actually, smegma is produced by the genitals of both women and men during the reproductive years. Smegma is made of sebum and skin cells and lubricates the foreskin and glans in men, and the clitoral hood and inner labia in women. It is rinsed off during normal bathing and does not cause cancer or any other health problems.

Myth: "My uncle wasn't circumcised and he kept getting infections and had to be circumcised as an adult."

Reality check: Medical advice may have promoted infection in uncircumcised males. A shocking number of doctors are uneducated about the normal development of the foreskin, and they (incorrectly) tell parents that they have to retract the baby's foreskin and wash inside it at every diaper change. Doing this tears the foreskin and the tissue (called synechia) that connects it to the head of the penis, leading to scarring and infection.

Misinformation was especially prevalent during the 1950s and 60s, when most babies were circumcised and we didn't know as much about the care of the intact penis, which is why the story is always about someone's uncle. Doing this to a baby boy would be like trying to clean the inside of a baby girl's vagina with Q-tips at every diaper change. Rather than preventing problems, such practices would cause problems by introducing harmful bacteria. Remember that humans evolved from animals, so no body part that required special care would survive evolutionary pressures. The human genitals are wonderfully self-cleaning and require no special care.

Myth: My son was diagnosed with phimosis and so had to be circumcised.

Reality check: Phimosis means that the foreskin will not retract. Since children's foreskins are naturally not retractable, it is impossible to diagnose phimosis in a child. Any such diagnoses in infants are based on misinformation, and are often made in order to secure insurance coverage of circumcision in states in which routine infant circumcision is no longer covered.

Even some adult men have foreskins that do not retract, but as long as it doesn't interfere with sexual intercourse, it is no problem at all, as urination itself cleans the inside of the foreskin (note that urine is sterile when leaving the body.)

Phimosis can also be treated conservatively with a steroid cream and gentle stretching done by the man himself, should he so desire it, or, at worst, a slit on the foreskin, rather than total circumcision. (Ashfield 2003) These treatment decisions can and should be made by the adult man.

Myth: Uncircumcised boys get more urinary tract infections (UTIs.)

Reality check: This claim is based on one study that looked at charts of babies born in one hospital (Wiswell 1985). The study had many problems, including that it didn't accurately count whether or not the babies were circumcised, whether they were premature and thus more susceptible to infection in general, whether they were breastfed (breastfeeding protects against UTI), and if their foreskins had been forcibly retracted (which can introduce harmful bacteria and cause UTI) (Pisacane 1990). There have been many studies since which show either no decrease in UTI with circumcision, or else an increase in UTI from circumcision. Thus circumcision is not recommended to prevent UTI (Thompson 1990). Girls have higher rates of UTI than boys, and yet when a girl gets a UTI, she is simply prescribed antibiotics. The same treatment works for boys.

Myth: Circumcision prevents HIV/AIDS.

Reality check: Three studies in Africa several years ago that claimed that circumcision prevented AIDS and that circumcision was as effective as a 60% effective vaccine (Auvert 2005, 2006). These studies had many flaws, including that they were stopped before all the results came in. There have also been several studies that show that circumcision does not prevent HIV (Connolly 2008). There are many issues at play in the spread of STDs which make it very hard to generalize results from one population to another.

In Africa, where the recent studies have been done, most HIV transmission is through male-female sex, but in the USA, it is mainly transmitted through blood exposure (like needle sharing) and male-male sex. Male circumcision does not protect women from acquiring HIV, nor does it protect men who have sex with men (Wawer 2009, Jameson 2009).

What's worse, because of the publicity surrounding the African studies, men in Africa are now starting to believe that if they are circumcised, they do not need to wear condoms, which will increase the spread of HIV (Westercamp 2010). Even in the study with the most favorable effects of circumcision, the protective effect was only 60% - men would still have to wear condoms to protect themselves and their partners from HIV.

In the USA, during the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s and 90s, about 85% of adult men were circumcised (much higher rates of circumcision than in Africa), and yet HIV still spread.

It is important to understand, too, that the men in the African studies were adults and they volunteered for circumcision. Babies undergoing circumcision were not given the choice to decide for themselves.

Myth: Circumcision is worth it because it can save lives.

Reality check: Consider breast cancer: There is a 12% chance that a woman will get breast cancer in her lifetime. Removal of the breast buds at birth would prevent this, and yet no one would advocate doing this to a baby. It is still considered somewhat shocking when an adult woman chooses to have a prophylactic mastectomy because she has the breast cancer gene, yet this was a personal choice done based upon a higher risk of cancer. The lifetime risk of acquiring HIV is less than 2% for men, and can be lowered to near 0% through condom-wearing (Hall 2008). How, then, can we advocate prophylactic circumcision for baby boys?

Science and data do not support the practice of infant circumcision. Circumcision does not preclude the use of the condom. The adult male should have the right to make the decision for himself and not have his body permanently damaged as a baby.

Circumcision: Social, Sexual, Psychological Realities
By Darcia Narvaez, Ph.D. on September 18, 2011 - 8:05am
We continue examining myths about circumcision, including traditions, social and sexual relations.

NOTE: Primary author is Lillian Dell'Aquila Cannon, with assistance from Dan Bollinger

Part 3

Myth: You have to circumcise the baby so that he will match his dad.

Reality check: The major difference that boys notice is that dad's penis has hair, and is larger. When a boy notices the difference between his foreskin and his father's lack of one, just tell him, "When your father was born, they thought that you had to cut off the foreskin, but now we know better." Since when does parent/child bonding require a matching set of genitals? If it did, could mothers and sons bond, or fathers and daughters? The real issue at play here is protecting the father: if it is okay for his son to not be circumcised, then he did not have to be circumcised, and so he is missing something from his penis. It is not right to harm the child's body to spare the father's emotions.

Myth: My first son is circumcised, so I have to circumcise my second son.

Reality check: You can explain this to your children the same way as with the circumcised father. There are plenty of families who changed their minds after one or more sons were circumcised, and didn't circumcise any more. See here. As with the "matching dad" myth, what is really at issue here are the parents' feelings: if they don't circumcise the second son, then that means that they didn't have to circumcise the first child, and so they harmed their first child. This can be unbearably painful, but it is not right to continue to harm future children to avoid dealing with pain and regret. As they say, two wrongs do not make a right.

Myth: My husband is the one with the penis, so it is his choice.

Reality check: If your husband is circumcised, he has no idea what having a foreskin is like, and he is likely operating from a psychological position of needing to believe that what was done to him was beneficial and important. (See here for an extended discussion of pre and post circumcised adult men and much more by Marilyn Milos, director of NOCIRC.) The baby is the one who is going to have to live with the decision for the rest of his life, not your husband. The baby will be the one who has to use the penis for urination and sex -- it should be his decision.

Myth: Everyone is circumcised.

Reality check: Actually, world-wide, only 30% of men are circumcised, and most of these men are Muslim (WHO 2007). Most modern, Westernized countries have rates well below 20%. In the United States about 25 years ago, around 85% of babies were circumcised. The rates have dropped substantially to 32% in 2009, according to a report by the Centers for Disease Control (El Becheraoui 2010).

Myth: Circumcision is an important tradition that has been going on forever.

Reality check: In the United States, circumcision wasn't popularized until Victorian times, when a few doctors began to recommend it to prevent children from masturbating. Dr. Kellogg (of Corn Flakes fame) advocated circumcision for pubescent boys and girls to stop masturbation: "A remedy which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision, especially when there is any degree of phimosis. The operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an anæsthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind, especially if it be connected with the idea of punishment... In females, the author has found the application of pure carbolic acid to the clitoris an excellent means of allaying the abnormal excitement" (Kellogg 1877). Circumcision caught on among the sex-negative Victorians, but only wealthy parents could afford it. In 1932, only 31% of men were circumcised; this peaked around 85% in 1980, and has been dropping ever since (Laumann 1997, Wallerstein 1980). Far from an ancient tradition, it was only popular in post-war America; think of it as "your parent's body mod."

Myth: The other boys will make fun of him.

Reality check: What other cosmetic surgeries will we perform on our children to prevent them from being teased? Should a "flat" girl get implants? What about the boy with a small penis? What surgery would be recommended for him? Circumcised babies are the minority now, and so intact will not be mocked. Plus, as our husbands say, "You just don't look at or comment on another man's penis in the locker room."

Myth: Circumcision makes sex better for the woman.

Reality check: The function of the foreskin for women in intercourse is to seal the natural lubrication inside the vagina and provide a gentle internal massaging action. The intact penis moves in and out of its foreskin, which provides a frictionless, rolling, gliding sensation. Intact men tend to make shorter strokes that keep their bodies in contact with the clitoris more, thus aiding female orgasm (O'Hara 1999). On the other hand, the circumcised penis functions like a piston during intercourse - the head of the penis actually scrapes the lubrication out of the vagina with each stroke. As the man thrusts, his skin rubs against the vaginal entrance, causing discomfort, and sometimes pain (O'Hara 1999, Bensley 2001). Far from making sex better for women, circumcision decreases female satisfaction.

Myth: Women don't want to have sex with uncircumcised men.

Reality check: In a landmark study of US women, 85% who had experienced both circumcised and intact men preferred sex with intact men. Sex with a circumcised man was associated with pain, dryness and difficulty reaching orgasm (O'Hara 1999). In another study, women were twice as likely to reach orgasm with an intact man (Bensley 2003). Even when a woman said she preferred a circumcised partner, she had less dryness and discomfort with intact men (O'Hara 1999).

Myth: "Being circumcised doesn't affect my sex life."

Reality check: Men who are circumcised are 60% more likely to have difficulty identifying and expressing their feelings, which can cause marital difficulties (Bollinger 2010). Circumcised men are 4.5 times more likely to be diagnosed with erectile dysfunction, use drugs like Viagra, and to suffer from premature ejaculation (Bollinger 2010, Tang 2011). Men who were circumcised as adults experienced decreased sensation and decreased quality of erection, and both they and their partners experienced generally less satisfaction with sex (Kim 2007, Solinis 2007).

Myth: "If I were any more sensitive, it would be a problem."

Reality check: The foreskin contains several special structures that increase sexual pleasure, including the frenulum and ridged band (the end of the foreskin where it becomes internal), both of which are removed in circumcision. The LEAST sensitive parts of the foreskin are more sensitive than the MOST sensitive parts of the circumcised penis (Sorrells 2007). In other words, if you wanted to decrease a penis' sensitivity the most, circumcision would be the ideal surgery. The foreskin has nerves called fine-touch receptors which are clustered in the ridged band (Cold 1999). This type of nerve is also found in the lips and fingertips. To get an idea of the sensation these nerves provide, try this experiment: first lightly stroke your fingertip over the back of the other hand. Now stroke your fingertip over the palm of your hand. Feel the difference? That is the kind of sensation the foreskin provides, and the circumcised man is missing.

It may feel like the penis is overly sensitive to a circumcised man because there is little sensation left to indicate excitement, leading to unexpected premature ejaculation (a common problem with circumcised young men). However, as circumcised penises age they become calloused and much less sensitive.

It Came From the Kitchen: Episode 1

2011-09-11T10:36:00.000-05:00

Pumpkin Chai Cake

At long last, the time and the desire to bake meet up. Becoming a stay-at-home mom has afforded me time to do some of the things I like to do....things that I've missed doing.

So...the smell of Fall is in the air. What says Autumn better than pumpkin....and spice? I wait all year long for the various pumpkin goodies that this season brings. Now it's time to make some!

Step one is to find a recipe. It has to meet two criteria for me...quick and low calorie. After googling and drooling I found "Two Ingredient Pumpkin Cake". Yeah...just blend a box of spice cake mix and a can of pumpkin together. Throw it in the oven for 25 minutes at 350.

Pfffft...well...luckily when my hubby went to the grocery store for me he grabbed a can of pumpkin pie mix by mistake. It was a happy accident! Then I decided it needed...more. I added a snack cup of applesauce (unsweetened), about a 1/4 cup of Chai Latte mix (liquid), and I threw in another pinch of cinnamon (I love cinnamon). The mixture looked naked without a couple of eggs so in they went. I suppose I could have used just the egg whites but what the heck.

Voila...now we have an extra spicy pumpkin cake. At first...the cake was nothing to write home about. It really needed a cream cheese icing...with perhaps a pinch of cinnamon on top. I was trying to cut calories so...for a low calorie pumpkin treat...it was just fine.

Day two...some magical flavor melding happened overnight. If you decide to make this cake just bake it and stick it in the fridge. Don't even cut into it until the next day. If you aren't on a diet...whip together a cinnamon cream cheese frosting to put on top of it. Yum :drool:.

Next time...as a variation...I'm thinking a box of chocolate cake mix instead of the spice cake. Then...some extra chai latte and...maybe a few pinches of pumpkin pie spice. So many possibilities.

:Stomach growl:

Photo Book

2011-08-26T11:57:00.001-05:00

Click here to view this photo book larger

"Little Bit" Turns Three

2011-08-21T08:48:00.006-05:00

My sweet fuzzy girl celebrates her 3rd birthday today. She's still just as hyper and mischevious as she was when she was a pup. She's an endless source of entertainment. I love you Vienna!

Sweet Liam

2011-08-20T08:50:00.003-05:00

Dear Liam,

You've only been here eight weeks and you've already touched the hearts of so many people. My life is forever changed. I feel very accomplished just by being your mother. I'm thankful that God deemed me worthy enough to be your mom. You are so very special. When you laugh at me my heart melts. You've been smiling...real smiles...for a few weeks now. I live to make you laugh and smile. My heart skips a beat each time your face lights up. I'll be a very overprotective parent. I apologize for that now. I already worry myself sick over you. I'll always worry and I'll always protect you. You are my greatest treasure. I'm amazed by the fact that I helped make you. You are too beautiful to be mine...but you are mine. No matter what you do in life or where you go...you will be in my heart. I love you so very much. I hope one day you know just how much I do love you. You are going to be a great man and I know God has big plans for you.

Kisses and hugs,

Mommy

Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows - The End

2011-08-06T08:45:00.005-05:00

It was a bittersweet ending to the saga. The last big screen installment of the Harry Potter series did not disappoint. Koni and I picked out our seats in the theatre and prepared ourselves to say goodbye to our favorite characters. The screenwriters took some liberties and added a few things here and there. They were perfect additions...almost as if what I had imagined came to life.

As always, the visuals were stunning. Longbottom stole the show and Snape broke my heart. I can't wait to buy the DVD set and have a Harry Potter marathon.

Goodbye Hogwarts!

RIP Tonks

Labor Pains

2011-07-03T03:42:00.000-05:00

I woke up at 6:00 am. I couldn't get comfortable. No big surprise there. I was 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I felt like I was getting my period. For those of you who don't get periods....it felt like bad gas/constipation cramps. Could this be labor? It couldn't be....my stomach isn't tightening. They don't really stop and start. How can I time something that doesn't stop and start?!?!?!

I told Bryan to call the midwife.

"What do I tell her?"

"I don't know!!! I'm hurting!"

Bryan called and left a message. The midwife that was on call would check the messages and call us back. It felt like ages. Peggy called not long after the message was left. Bryan told her I was having "cramps". Also that the baby wasn't moving much. Of course she asked how far apart the "cramps" were. Bryan looked at me and repeated the question.

"They dont stop!"

I couldnt even begin to try to time them. She told us to come on over to the birthing center to get checked. We began to load everything in the truck. I jumped in the shower. She called back right after we headed out and told us to go to St. Mary's to have a non-stress test done. She was worried since Liam wasn't moving much.

Wait WHAT?! Something could be wrong? I've made it this far and now something terrible has happened?! I begged God to take care of my baby boy. I didn't care what they did to me at the hospital so long as my baby was ok. Bryan wasn't saying much. He also wasn't sure how to get to the hospital. It was a very bumpy ride to say the least. Someone should really take care of those potholes.

It was around 10:30am. We parked in the hospital garage. It felt like miles from the door. It also seemed like it took ages to get checked-in. Finally after fiddling with the elevator for a while (they have extra security measures) we went up to the nurses station. It wasn't long before I was wearing a lovely hospital gown and was attached to a monitor. The baby was fine. The nurse checked my cervix and I was 3cm and 90% effaced. I was in labor.

I told the nurse "It just felt like bad period cramps".

"Like the worst period you've ever had?"

"Yep"

"That's labor. And unlike a period you get a baby at the end!"

:Phew: Ok...all is well. I've been waiting for this. It's go time. Off to the birthing center we went.

We arrived at around 11am. Peggy was there to greet us. Bryan unloaded the bags and suitcases. While Bryan made phone calls and texted like a mad man I got "comfortable". I put on the gown I had picked out to give birth in. It was sleeveless but it was modestly long. Little did I know that my modesty and most of my dignity were about to be thrown to the wayside.

The midwife gave us our space and Bryan and I settled in. So far so good. We did laps around the hallways...pausing for contractions. They were forming a noticeable pattern now. They hurt but I could handle it. This was easy.

As time passed the pain intensified and the breaks between contractions got shorter. How did I handle it? I rocked...back and forth...side to side. I rocked on the birthing ball and on the bed. I focused on the movement. It was a form of meditation I suppose. I was riding waves of pain and remaining calm and quiet.

I don't know how women handle hospital births. Every time I laid down in the bed to have my cervix checked...the contractions were 10 times more painful! I can't imagine being stuck in a bed on my back.

The visitors kept rolling in. My parents showed up, the in-laws Regina and Dudley, Koni, Dove and her family, and my brother in law. An "off duty" midwife that had seen me a few times during prenatal care came by to say hello. Of course I hardly paid any mind to her. I was too busy concentrating on what was going on in my body.

A very sweet doula showed up. I don't recall her name unfortunately. She is studying to be a midwife and needed some hands on experience. The midwife asked if I minded her being in the room with me. I didn't mind. If someone else wanted to help me through childbirth then so be it.

I played the "I'm hot, I'm cold" game with Bryan for hours. He'd turn on the fan and open the door...then close the door and turn off the fan a few minutes later. My bare feet were ice cold. I only wore flip flops. I wanted a pair of socks so badly...and then...a pair magically appeared. Koni brought the gift of socks with her. It's amazing how at a time like this...something so simple can make a person SO happy.

Bryan was fetching tumbler after tumbler of water for me. He held my hand and tried to lighten the mood in his signature fashion. He was my rock and I've never felt so helpless and dependent on him. Surprisingly, I
didn't even consider causing him bodily harm. I even made a point not to squeeze his hand too hard.

My mother was as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. She was pacing the floor and questioning the midwife and nurse every time some possible horrible outcome flashed through her mind. She checked on me a few times during early labor.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm in labor mom"

And again

"Are you ok?"

"I'm havin' a baby mom"

I tried to hide my pain every time she entered the room. It was getting harder and harder to do so.

From 11 o clock to 5, I went from 3 centimeters to 9. The midwife had checked the baby's heartbeat every half hour or so and he was doing fine. Things were moving quickly. I was in what they call the transition phase. I suddenly started feeling sick to my stomach. It hit hard...I purged my pop tart breakfast. Bryan barely had time to get the can positioned on my lap. The midwife wiped my face with a cool washcloth and I felt better. Well....I wasn't sick to my stomach anymore.

The pain had escalated. The first primal groan escaped my mouth. The midwife said "gooood". It was almost as if she was happy to finally hear me make some sort of sound. It helped. It felt like some of the pain left my body.

A few minutes after 7 I was at 9 centimeters...10 with contraction. My baby boy was being stubborn. His little head was turned in the wrong direction. He was face down. I wouldn't be able to push if he stayed like that. Peggy and the Doula suggested I do lunges. With one foot on the bed I held onto the bedpost and leaned into it. The pain intensified but I did my best to try to wiggle my pelvis around. I prayed that he would move quickly while I still had a few ounces of energy left.

After a while the midwife came up with a different exercise. I laid down on a "wedge" so that my hips were elevated. It relieved the pressure on my cervix and allowed my baby boy to move into the correct position. It was around this time that Peggy separated my membranes....otherwise known as "breaking my water". She did this in hopes that it would boost things to 10 centimeters.

Position #6857886...I was on my knees in the bed laying over the exercise ball. I was about as uncomfortable as I possibly could be. At some point we reached the magic number....10.

Peggy said "Let me know if you feel like pushing!"

Let her know?!?! Isn't she supposed to tell me what to do? Do I feel like pushing??? Suuuuure ok.

"I want to push"

Why did I just say that? I don't know what I'm doing. I was flipped over on my back again. I was no longer able to focus on rocking. I had to move something so I moved my forearm up and down. Bryan kept offering me his hand to hold but I couldn't. I had to move. I'm sure I looked like some arm pumping spaz from Jersey Shore.

At some point my nurse showed up for the grand finale. She introduced herself but I don't recall her name. She was very sweet and her calm presence and comic relief helped tremendously.

At any rate....it was time to push. "PUSH" said Peggy. This is when I realized I didn't know how. I made a very wimpy attempt. However it didn't matter, part of my cervix was being stubborn. It still wasn't 100% thinned out. My poor babys head was being held back. Peggy told me to stop pushing.

He's never coming out. How much longer can I do this? If I can't push him out then what do we do now?!

The midwife suggested that I do more lunges. I was so tired....my strength was gone....along with hope. I felt defeated. How much more can I take?

I got up and began doing more lunges.

"I can barely hold myself up"

The midwife took pity on me and found a position where I could rest some.On the wedge face down with my butt in the air...yeah...relaxing. It did help that the Doula applied pressure to my hips and lower back. Even a slight ease of pain was welcome. I'm pretty sure I loved her at that moment.

At some point the Doula said "You were born to do this". I kinda gave her an exasperated look. She was right though. Granted I know some women aren't able to have children....I thought I was one of them. However, we ARE born with everything we need to birth and nourish a child. When it comes to a normal healthy pregnancy...we don't need hospitals and narcotics....or a team of doctors. Our bodies know what to do. Of course...at the time...I felt clueless and out of control. My body was being stubborn. I was scared that my sweet baby was going to suffer because things weren't happening the way they should be.

I muttered "I can't do this anymore". Peggy gave me a sad but understanding look. She left to call an ambulance for a non-emergency transport to the hospital. It was around 10pm. She mentioned that going to the hospital and getting an epidural might help to relax me enough so that a dr could intervene and "move things".

Peggy came back to ask "Are you against an epidural?"

Oh God...not that. This is what I've been afraid of. But...what if it's necessary? What if I'm hurting my baby? I can't be stubborn or afraid....it's all about him. With a sigh I mumbled "No". All I could think about was a needle in my spine. It's all for Liam...I kept telling myself.

This was it...it's all over. My plan is down the drain. I'm going to a cold sterile horrifying hospital. Peggy left to let the family and friends know the new plan. I was almost delirious at this point. Laying in the bed with Bryan on one side and the doula on the other I said "I need to take something".

Let me say...in my defense...I wasn't thinking about any hardcore narcotics. My mind was on vitamin I. Motrin is my "go to" drug. It's my best friend after a long hike. Yes..I know...a Motrin wouldn't have helped much but you can't reason with a woman in labor.

I'm convinced that doulas are trained to use reverse psychology and to not take anything a laboring woman says seriously. It's the pain and exhaustion speaking. My eyes were closed but I'm almost sure she winked at Bryan before saying "Sorry I can't give you anything and by the time you get to the hospital it will be too late". I believe she followed it up with something along the lines of "You need to just go ahead and have this baby". Bryan chimed in as well. They were trying to encourage me to keep going. I'm ashamed that I had given up. I didn't have an ounce of energy left. I couldn't see the finish line anymore. I didn't know what was going to happen. I was scared for little Liam.

I spent a few minutes sitting on the porcelain throne awaiting my chariot. The toilet is actually a good place to sit while laboring. It's relatively comfortable. I suppose it's kinda like sitting on a birthing stool. You just don't want to be the woman that has the potty baby. It has happened. At any rate, I sat and prayed. While everyone was chatting with each other back at the bedside...I was chatting with God. I was asking for a little assistance in finishing the job.

The paramedics showed up...pulling the stretcher. Oh boy. How am I getting on that thing? In between contractions I climbed on. They strapped me down and off we went. Those stretchers could use some shocks. Peggy came with me. Bryan packed up the truck and headed to the hospital. A whole caravan of friends and family headed to St. Mary's Women's Pavilion.

My first ride in an ambulance was a bumpy one. I was moaning pretty loudly at this point. Then...it happened. My moan turned into a scream and I pushed. I didn't mean too. Peggy had told me not to but it was involuntary. THIS is what it felt like to want to push. It's not really a want...more like an uncontrollable desire. I felt different now. The baby moved.

With a few more brain jarring bumps I was out of the ambulance and rolling into the hospital. At least I didn't have to walk this time. Finally...I was rolled into my room....the dreaded hospital bed loomed before me. Contractions were fast and fierce and I had to somehow get myself from the stretcher into the bed. It appeared to be an impossible feat but I mustered up some moxie and half threw myself in the bed. Only to have to exit it a few seconds later so that it could be transformed into a birthing bed.

Once situated back into the bed of uncomfort...they descended. Nurses and phlebotomists oh my! It was time to hook me up to machines and get an I.V. port in my arm. All this whilst contractions were coming seconds apart...and I was writhing like a snake in a fire.

To my right, the hospital's nurse was hooking up the baby's monitor to my belly. She took my temp...it was high...go figure! She ordered some Tylenol for me...which they forgot to give me until I had my little man in my arms. Then came....the wicked blood pressure machine. Gone are the days of a human taking your blood pressure. They used this evil machine that wouldnt cooperate. It wasn't bad enough that I was having wave after wave of contractions....this mechanical beast kept squeezing my arm until it turned blue....over and over again. FINALLY...after about 7 tries....the nurse got what she was after.

Meanwhile...to my left....the nervous, frightened little phlebotomist was attempting to get an I.V. port in my arm. Evidently step one is to break the tourniquet and flip yourself in the hand. Step two is to squirt yourself in the eye with alcohol when you open the prep pad. The more I moaned and thrashed around in the bed...the more nervous she got. Finally...she was finished. The bloody aftermath suggested that she had slashed my wrist. She sopped up the blood and exited the room like a scared rabbit.

Now it was time to get to work. It was around 11. The dr was going to come in at 11:45 to intervene. He would probably use the vacuum. Who knows what other methods he would use. It was those interventions I wanted to avoid...so long as my baby boy was ok.

Peggy asked "Do you still want an epidural?"

Do I still want it?!?! Did I ever want it?!?! I was under the impression that I had to have it.

"Do I have to?"

"Well no, you don't have to."

:phew: I can't imagine the anestegiologist trying to put the needle in my back while I'm thrashing around.

Anyway, it was time to get this over with. I had 45 minutes. I started pushing. I was gripping the rails of the bed so hard that every muscle in my body was strained. The Lisa Ross nurse and midwife told me to hold my legs and curl around my belly....much better. At first I was screaming with every push...a high pitched banshee wail. The LR nurse told me to lower the pitch. To make it come from my gut. All the energy was then behind the baby. Ok I'm learning...much better. I was pushing with every fiber of my being.

This is where I want to step aside and talk about something. Something that nobody wants to talk about. It's like a dirty little secret that no one dares to share with you. Nobody warns you...or prepares you. You see...those same muscles you use to do "number 2" ...those are the ones that are working overtime to push out your little bundle of joy. Poop happens. Just sayin'.

Bryan is now front and center. He's holding my right leg while Peggy holds the left. My gown is up around my neck. My modesty jumped ship. In the midst of my pain...I now feel bad for my hubby. He's seeing things that he can't unsee. I could never get the man to watch any birthing videos....and there he was....living one. He was up close and personal with the business end of birthing. I'm certain he's scarred for life. Aaand I'm pretty sure I'll never feel sexy again.

The LR nurse decided it was time to switch things up again. Now it was time to hold my breath and push. At this point I also had an oxygen mask on and the I.V. port was being used to get me hydrated. Also, I'm focusing on pushing the nurses fingers out. It helped. Being able to focus on something other than the pain HELPS!

I'm pushing for everything in me and this is when we reach...the "ring of fire".

"I fell into a burnin' ring of fire.......and it burns, burns, burns...."

Yeah that song will never be the same.

The "ring of fire" is when the baby's head is..well...stretching the perineum. This is where some women tear and when they usually opt for an episiotomy. My goal was to avoid both.

"This is the ring of fire. Push through it." said Peggy.

"He's right there" LR Nurse

"He's almost out" Bryan

"One more big push" LR nurse

And again they said one more push. Everybody was saying one more push. I CAN FREAKING COUNT AND IT'S BEEN MORE THAN ONE!

I could feel my baby boy and he was almost out. I felt like I didn't have the endurance to finish the job. It's hard to push through the pain. It's our nature when something hurts....STOP.

"Get him, get him, get him" I pleaded.

"No...you've gotta push him out. Come on" LR Nurse

Bitch. Ok no...I don't really mean that.

With a few more encouraging words from my midwife and my hubby I summoned all the power left in my body and pushed. The next thing I know, my sweet baby was on my chest.

He was wide eyed and alert. Once all the blood pumped from the cord, Bryan cut it. We couldn't take our eyes off of our healthy baby boy. I was in love with his widow's peak hairline, big almond shaped eyes, his cute little cupid's bow mouth, and his big feet. His hands were on his face and his feet were kicking just like they had when he was in my womb. His soft little cries "Mah maaah" already had me wrapped around his tiny finger.

The LR nurse helped me deliver the placenta. There was no need for stitches woohoo! Peggy helped clean me up and then it was time for Liam to breastfeed for the first time. He latched on like a pro. He hasn't let go much since.

It took 17 1/2 hours to have Liam. I wasn't able to follow my birth plan exactly...but I had him naturally. I didn't have to have an epidural, an episiotomy, or any dr interventions. I feel like...after this...I can do anything. I guess it's the after labor superwoman complex?

I could not have done it without the wonderful ladies at Lisa Ross and my supportive hubby.

I also appreciate the friends and family that visited. Muah. You know who you are.

Thank you God for our little boy. He is amazing.

Due date

2011-06-22T19:09:00.007-05:00

Week 40

The day has come and my little man still hasn't arrived. I'm larger than life and sooooo very ready for this to be over with. Baby boy...I'm ready to kiss your face. My belly has reached its maximum capacity. I'm very close to making a wardrobe from whatever I can find in the linen closet.

I'm not sleeping very much. I've tried spicy foods...late night walks...basking in the full moon light....even happy fun time with the hubby. Nothing has gotten the labor ball rolling. What else is this rolly polly woman suppose to do? I feel like my stubborn little McDaniel just doesn't want to come out. It's time little man. We all want to meet you. There are lots of wonderful suprises waiting on you out here. I can't wait to hold you in my arms.

Seven

2011-06-11T19:01:00.007-05:00

(Our hands on my very pregnant belly)

Here's to seven years together...may we have many many more.

I love you Bryan...more today than yesterday...even more so tomorrow. I'm a lucky lady to have you as a husband. You are going to be a wonderful father. Thank you for all that you do. :Muah:

Final preperations

2011-05-31T11:41:00.007-05:00

36 Weeks 1 Day

The final sneak peak at my baby boy before he leaves his cozy living quarters inside my tummy. According to the ultrasound he’s about seven pounds right now. I still have a month to go before I hit forty weeks. It’s possible that I may end up birthing a nine pounder!

The hubby is putting the finishing touches on the nursery. It looks great. He did an awesome job and it means the world to me that he worked so hard on his son’s room. It’s the best room in the house…not to mention the coziest. The blue walls are very soothing and that’s exactly what I need right now. Once the closet is gutted, painted, and fitted with an organizer….the room will be complete. Well...just add baby.

I’d be lying if I said I’m ready. Sure I have all the baby gear but am I prepared to deliver a big baby boy sans drugs? All the breathing and meditation techniques in the world aren’t going to take the sting out of that. God be with Bryan…he’s going to need all the help he can get. He’ll be my support and my coach through the whole ordeal. I’m going to try my darndest to go easy on him.

My dear hubby is probably wishing that he’d bought stock in the brand of milk we use. I’ve been drinking it by the jug. It’s unbelievable how much milk we’ve gone through these past few weeks. The poor man is running out to get milk almost every other day it seems like. Our little man should come out with some very strong bones. From what I can tell…he’s already pretty strong muscle-wise. I half expect to wake up with a broken rib most days.

It's time for me to say goodbye to ABS National Auto Services and begin my job as housewife and Mommy. ABS has been my home away from home for the past five years. While I won't miss the stress...I'm really going to miss the people. I made some wonderful friends there. That company has some awesome women working for them. They have a place in my heart forever. I can't wait for my baby boy to meet them.

I'm so very blessed. Thank you God for deaming me worthy to have this baby boy. I love him with every fiber of my being. He's going to have a wonderful daddy too. We are both thankful that the pregnancy has gone so well. We can't wait to meet him!

Showered with gifts

2011-05-07T11:45:00.028-05:00

Koni aka "Squirrel" decided to throw a baby shower for me. I of course...trying to avoid being the center of attention...wasn't too keen on the idea. I realized that this is all for my baby boy so I put on my big girl maternity panties and dealt with it. I am so glad I let her talk me into it. We held the party in my backyard. It was a relatively small gathering. The weather was beautiful and even the weiner dogs got to attend.

My sweet boy was showered with lots a gifts. He already has a room full of stuff and he's not even here yet. He will be beyond spoiled. He has some of the cutest outfits I've ever seen.

My "sister" Dove was the resident photographer with her assistant/daughter Tiffany. They made the event extra special. I don't get to see her very often and she came a long way to attend. I hope the maternity photo shoot she did turned out well in spite of my lack of...well...coordination. I'm so rolly polly I could hardly pose for pictures. I appreciate my hubby being a good sport during the shoot. He got a few laughs out of it anyway.

In attendance we had some of the ABS gals: Nancy, Terri, and Jeannie. Of course the Grandmas-to-be, Regina and my mother were there. Koni's two youngest daughters "Cuddle Bug" and "Hammy" came and as usual were very helpful and a pleasure to have. April and her youngest daughter attended. April is a neighbor, friend, and fellow preggo. She's also the wife of my hubby's co-worker/partner in crime, John. We had about a dozen party goers and many attending in spirit. I appreciate those that wanted to attend but weren't able to.

For posterity's sake I'd like to list all the presents. I'll update as more gifts come in. My sweet boy has been very blessed and one day I want him to look back and see just how much. I hope he is as appreciative as I am. He's not even here yet and he's already loved beyond measure...and that is the greatest gift we can give him.

Thank you:

Grandparents Pitts and Thomas - Money for the nursery furniture
Mamaw Thomas - A dump truck of clothes,a couple pairs of socks, washclothes, and a hippo snack bowl
Mamaw Pitts - Nursery lamp and clothes
Grandparents McDaniel - Money that went towards the stroller/carseat, play pen, and highchair
Florence - Handmade bibs and blankets
The McCrillis family - Winnie the Pooh bouncy seat
Libby - Pooh diaper bag
Auntie Stacy and family - Some of the cutest baby boy outfits ever made along with some cute socks, My First Winnie the Pooh book, and a classic stuffed Pooh
Teresa - Cloth diapers and rattle
Nancy - Dr Mom baby care set and baseball romper
Jeannie - Johnson and Johnson's set, All natural baby wipes, Cloth diapers, and two adorable rompers!
April - Babyganics lotion and wash, 2 thermal receiving blankets, hangers, cute lion outfit set, and the softest stuffed lion ever created
Terri - An adorable stuffed Pooh bear, lion bib set, and a Pooh frame for the hand and footprint
Auntie Squirrel - A breastflow bottle set, 2 packs of cloth diapers, a stuffed squirrel of course, and more adorable outfits
Auntie Dove - An Irish bonnet (turns into a hankie) and musical keepsake box that will be cherished and handed down for ages, a "Kiss me I'm Irish" pacifier, and a cute sheep sleeper with cap to match
DJ - A gift card to Babies R Us...my new favorite store
Ann, Carolyn, and Donna - A gift basket full of baby goodies. It had a Pooh pillow, baby lotion/wash/shampoo, a Johnson and Johnson's travel set, bib, onesies, booties, mitts, Q-tips, wrist rattles, blanket, washclothes, a tub of wipes, and a thermometer :phew:
Aleah - Onesies and a Beethoven for babies CD
Dena - A bundle of clothes for my bundle of joy
Vivian - Garanimals set of blocks and activity playmat
Susan "Mama Hen" and Vicki "Queen Victoria" - Huggies Natural diapers, two Fisher Price teethers (Monkey & Cow), and a Monkey "Baby Inside" sign for car :squeel:
Sonia - An adorable onesy that says "Mommy's New Man"
Karna, Raynea, & Ginny - A giraffe coin bank (the change travels down it's neck!), a box of wipes, and $50 cash.
Shirley - Two stuffed Dr. Seuss Characters and two Dr: Suess books!
Karen & Ralph - A HUGE box of Pampers
Judy Humphrey (Mom's Co-Worker) - Clothing, musical pillow, teether, pacifier cover, toy, baby position pillow.
Lien - Arm & Hammer diaper genie and a "Mom + Dad = me" picture frame!
ABS - Walmart gift card
Great Aunt Janie - Cute outfits w/ bucket hats & bib set
Glenda Mayfield - Romper, stuffed monkey, and pacifier holder
Great Great Aunt Pansy & Great Great Uncle Omer - Check
Great Aunt Betty- Two Sleepers
The Cofer Family- Frog blanket, sleeper, Jeans, onesie, and Hoodie
Great Grandpa Mayo- Check and lots of love
The Milligan Family (mom's neighbors)- Diapers, Sesame Street book, and teething ring
Rose (Neighbor)- Check
Nicole Petty and family- Amazon gift card
Sandra Engleman-A gorgeous puppy quilt!
"Aunt" Beverly- An adorable quilted blanket with a stuffed animal print.

Congratulations are in order....

2011-04-22T11:22:00.003-05:00

My dear hubby received his Associate of Science in Computer Programming degree on April 22nd. It's another piece of paper for him to add to the mound of certifications he already holds. I am in awe of him. Not only did he graduate but he did so with highest honors. Considering the fact that he was working two jobs, going to school full time, taking care of a pregnant wife, and doing maintenance on the house...it's an amazing feat to say the least.

Congratulations Bryan!!! I am so proud of you! I can only aspire to make you as proud of me some day.

Trans-Siberian Orchestra: Beethoven's Last Night

2011-04-20T04:25:00.000-05:00

I was super excited when the hubby nabbed tickets to see TSO at the Civic Coliseum. I've wanted to see them perform for years. They truly offer a "must see" phenomenal show. I've never seen so many talented musicians/singers on one stage.

We were front row and center stage along with a couple of friends, John and April Lindsay. We were so close in fact that we needed sunglasses and sunscreen. I did not expect scorching pyrotechnics (awesome!). We also had our faces in the fog machines. While it wasn't an ideal situation for a couple of pregnant women like April and I....we endured the heat and fog and I'm pretty certain our babies rocked out in utero.

It was part rock concert...part theatrical performance...and 100% talent. The fire and lasers...the stunning backdrop...all iceing on the cake. These guys know how to rock a guitar.....a keyboard....electric violin...drums...a microphone....hell I think they could make an old shoe sound good.

The ticket price was well worth it...actually...I think we owe them. I won't think twice about catching another show. They'll be back again this year :wink wink:.

Thanks for taking me sweetie!!!

The final count down - 3rd trimester

2011-04-01T09:26:00.015-05:00

I switched from Oak Ridge OB-GYN Associates to Lisa Ross Birthing Center. April 1st was my first appointment. I absolutely love it. Bryan and I took a tour a few weeks before and I got to see the birthing suites. The rooms look like cozy bedrooms. There's no harsh hospital "vibe". The staff members were friendly and very informative. I wish I had started my prenatal care there. After just one appointment I realize how badly the other place was lacking. I'm not just another patient. I'm a new mom. The nurse midwife took the time to really talk to me and she gave me a wealth of information. I can't wait to meet the rest of the midwives at Lisa Ross!

Goodbye giraffes...hello 100 Acre Wood. I couldn't resist. I was hit with Pooh fever...Tigger-itis...Eeyore....well you get the point. I returned the Snickerdoodle nursery bedding and accessories and replaced it with Pooh EVERYTHING! I still don't know what came over me but I know I'm going to have a lot of fun decorating the nursery. Maybe once the wee one is here i'll feel up to painting some trees and clouds on the walls.

In other news, at 28 weeks and 2 days my belly bump measures 31 inches. I measured 43 inches around (from navel to back and back to navel) at 28 weeks. The cravings have become quesadillas, Cherry Garcia, and anything that is cinnamon-ey and gooey....oh and mini powdered doughnuts. I've also been going crazy over sweet potato fries/chips. It's a good thing I'm still craving fruit and veggies otherwise my hips would be waving the white flag. My back is killing me at this point and I'm pretty sure "little bit" is laying on my lungs. Mr. New Daddy is making progress on the nursery. I'm preparing for my baby shower and maternity photos on May 7th. My little man is growing and kicking away just like he should be. I am so very blessed by God.

I love my McDaniel men!

Spring Sprang

2011-03-22T14:28:00.014-05:00

Super Moon (March 19th)

Spring Weekend (March 20th)

With the "Super Moon" came Spring. It sprang March 20th and that weekend was the epitome of the season. The flowers were blooming, the sun was shining, and the sky was a beautiful bright blue. The hubby and I...and the weiners...took full advantage. We soaked up some sun...much needed vitamin D. Me and my baby bump found our way to the hammock...and managed to actually get IN it. All the windows were opened to let all the stale air out and the scented Spring air in.

28 weeks 3 days

Only a few days later, Bryan and I were hit with the flu. It was the end of the flu season...and yet...here we were with Flu A. I of course was scared beyond measure. I'd heard all the horror stories of pregnant women and the Flu virus. I had also read that the popular anti-virals such as Tamiflu were a big no-no. They can cause birth defects. I was just beginning my 3rd trimester so the chance that the meds would harm the baby was pretty low. Of course, for a worried mamma...low isn't good enough. At any rate, Bryan and I took our meds and recovered in about a week. It was an interesting way to start the season!

I confess...

2011-03-21T05:29:00.000-05:00

I’m so guilty. What am I guilty of? I’m guilty of wishing precious time away. I think we’re all guilty of doing that at some point. People tend to live for the weekend, for that next vacation. Sure the work week isn’t exactly the most enjoyable part of life. How many people actually have a fun job? When doing chores…sure it’s not the highlight of the day. When you’re sick…or in pain…who doesn’t want to hit fast forward? How many days have we all lost doing that?!

Here I am…suddenly in my 30’s. Where did my 20’s go? If I had all that “wished away” time back I’d probably be in my teens. It’s always been “when I finish school” or “when I get my career going” and “when I get THAT bill paid off”. Too much “when I move out” or “when I get married”. I need to stop this whole “I’ll have fun when Saturday gets here” or “I’ll enjoy life when I go to the beach for a week”. Seriously? How ridiculous is that? Our days on this earth are numbered. How can any of us let one slip by? Sometimes life gets in the way of living. There’s work to do….bills to pay…etc. There’s no getting around that for most of us. This IS life. My dad told me once when I was little that I shouldn’t wish my life away. Why is it just now dawning on me?

I was laying in the hammock over the weekend pondering the fact that within a few short months…my life will be forever changed. There will be no more “just me” time. I will be a mother. My soul purpose will be to ensure that this child has everything he needs. I will be “mommy”. Every second of every day will become even more valuable. I’m going to be responsible for another human being. I will spend my last breaths giving said being advice and instruction. I will spend my time obsessing about his eating habits and thwarting any possible dangers that come his way. I will be a mommy and a housewife and I will enjoy every second of it.

Suddenly traveling to Ireland, laying my hands on a redwood, hiking the Appalachian trail…doesn’t seem like real goals anymore. My life isn’t going to magically begin “some day”. It started 31 years ago and for all I know could end tomorrow. My so called “bucket list” isn’t important. Sure we all need to have dreams…but don’t dwell on them.

The here and now…is the dream. It’s a pretty good one too…even with a few bad parts mixed in along the way. Just enjoy it…even the small “insignificant” things that usually go ignored. You know…Carpe Diem and all that. Nobody gets a do over and there’s no rewind button.

I PROMISE

I promise not to take for granted my time here on earth. I’ll savor the mundane along with the grand moments. I’ll enjoy every smile…every talk with friends...each visit with family. When I’m just lounging on the couch watching TV or holding my hubby’s hand during a long car ride...I'll be content. I’m going to cherish the time I have with my goofy weiner dogs. I’ll even relish those days spent doing laundry and cleaning house. I’ll love the rainy days just as much as the ones filled with sunshine. Mostly, I’ll remember this promise when I’ve been up all night with a sick baby, when I’m picking the hubby’s dirty clothes up out of the floor, and when I'm being lectured by my mother.

I love my life. God bless.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day

2011-03-17T09:22:00.004-05:00

(26 weeks 1 day)

Happy St. Paddy's day to all. Enjoy a pint or two for me. I must go fill my ole' man with corned beef and cabbage. Much love from the McDaniel family. God bless.

“May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door.” ~Irish Blessings

"An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth."

And in case you need to curse someone...

"May the curse of Mary Malone and her nine blind illegitimate children chase you so far over the hills of Damnation that the Lord himself can't find you with a telescope." ~Unknown

Traditional Irish Corned Beef & Cabbage

Ingredients:

3 pounds corned beef brisket with spice packet
10 small red potatoes
5 carrots, peeled and cut into 3-inch pieces
1 large head cabbage, cut into small wedges

Directions:

1.Place corned beef in large pot or Dutch oven and cover with water. Add the spice packet that came with the corned beef. Cover pot and bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. Simmer approximately 50 minutes per pound or until tender.

2. Add whole potatoes and carrots, and cook until the vegetables are almost tender. Add cabbage and cook for 15 more minutes. Remove meat and let rest 15 minutes.

3. Place vegetables in a bowl and cover. Add as much broth (cooking liquid reserved in the Dutch oven or large pot) as you want. Slice meat across the grain.

I've just seen a face....

2011-02-28T12:59:00.011-05:00

"What are you lookin' at?"

Ultrasound 2/25/2011

23 Weeks 2 days 1lb 3 Ounces

This past Friday I got to see my baby boy again. He has changed positions. He's now practically standing straight up...his head in my ribcage....feet on my bladder. His heartbeat was perfect and he's looking great. He's gone from 11 ounces last month to 1 lb 3 ounces. I have a very hyper little boy on my hands. He's kicking like a soccer champ.

My pregnacy symptoms have improved. I was blindsided with a cold. I'm sure my little one doesnt appreciate all the sneezing and coughing....not to mention the Robitussin I've been forced to swallow. The stretch marks are becoming deeper and more painful. I've lathered on so much cocoa butter I smell like a walking Hershey's bar. It offers a little bit of relief. It's like my belly button is trying to detach from my body. My stomach is Pangea and the continents...they are on the move.

What are my current cravings? Garlic bread and Klondike bars...no not together. There's no doubt this little bugger is taking after his daddy. I normally don't care for too much garlic. Right now...I could eat a loaf of garlic bread with extra extra garlic. Oy vay.

I have lots of work to do in the following weeks. It's time to put the nursery together, help Koni plan the baby shower, and do a maternity photo session with Dove. Bryan and I also plan to tour the Methodist Medical Center's maternity ward next week.

It's almost go time! I can't wait to meet my baby boy. If he's anything like his daddy I am going to be one lucky lady.

Happy Heart Day

2011-02-14T12:08:00.007-05:00

21 weeks 5 days

Happy St. Valentine's day to all the lovebirds out there and especially to my other half. Also, sending a lot of love to the little one who seems to be stretching my tummy more and more every day. I'm not typically keen on this holiday but I don't mind an excuse to be extra lovey. My hard working hubby could use some pampering. I plan on testing my massage skills on him later today.

I was home from work on Friday due to a massive headache. I think someone took notice that mommy wasn't moving. I felt my little one kicking for the first time...and boy was he going at it. I'm certain I'm giving birth to a soccer player...or a martial artist...maybe both. The headaches are getting worse and I'm sure they are hormonal. It's just another symptom. Tylenol doesn't work...but the little flutters of my baby boy do.

Thanks to the generous coupons from Babies R Us, the hubby ordered the nursery furniture on Friday. We received a $250.00 gift card for buying it over the holiday weekend!!! A great big thank you to the grandparents Pitts and Thomas for giving us the money to cover the furniture costs. Bryan's dad and step-mom sent a check for the baby as well. We're able to buy the stroller/carseat, highchair, and play pen. Needless to say...the baby was completely spoiled this weekend. I still have a pocket full of coupons that entitle me to more gift cards. We are well on our way to having everything we need. In a few weeks we'll be riping up carpet, installing a ceiling fan, and painting the nursery. There's lots of work to do and I can't wait to get started. It's going to be the best room in the house.

I am head over heels in love with my little family.

XOXOXO

Snips and snails and puppy dogs tails

2011-01-31T12:33:00.003-05:00

19 weeks and 5 days

Finally, after what felt like months…I got my second ultrasound. I’m in awe. I’m amazed that something so wonderful is being created inside of me. I saw arms and legs…cute little feet, a button nose, the belly, and a round noggin. Also, on display for all of us to see was his boyhood. There’s no mistaking it…we have a boy. He’s eleven ounces which is perfect for this stage of pregnancy. He was very mobile during the ultrasound. I can already tell that I’m going to have my hands full. I can’t wait to kiss his sweet face in a few months.

I’ve gained eight pounds total so far. I’ve already earned a few “stripes”. By the time this pregnancy is over I’m going to look like a white and pink zebra. It’s ok. I’ll wear them like a badge of honor…scars from a battle wound. My body will never be the same so I might as well accept that now. I ordered a pre/postnatal workout DVD but haven’t even un-wrapped it yet. Where do I find the energy? My appetite has grown. I feel like a ravenous wild animal by the time I get home from work. I’m really looking forward to getting back to a more normal diet after the baby is born.

On the matter of cravings, I’ve switched from mac and cheese to cornflakes. Kellogg’s loves me right now. I can’t get enough. At least the cornflake obsession has caused me to raise my calcium intake. I also want watermelon so badly that I’ve been making grocery store runs at lunch. Problem is that it’s way out of season. Kroger’s seems to have some decent...somewhat...red and sweet melon. I keep them busy cutting it up for me. I can’t be the only loon eating it in January though right?

I’ve started waking up a lot in the middle of the night…and not just to run to the bathroom. Every minute sound causes me to be wide eyed and alert. I’m sure this is my body’s way of preparing for nighttime feedings and changings but eeesh. I’m supposed to sleep now while I still can! At least i'm no longer losing the contents of my stomach every time I move...or think about moving.

I’m so glad it’s tax time. The hubby and I are actually getting something back this year and boy do we need it. Next item on our list to buy is the Chicco stroller/carseat duo, highchair, and playpen set. We can get all the above for one price on Amazon. We’ll end up getting each piece for about 50% off. It has the highest safety rating according to a sales associate at Babies R Us...also happens to be the most expensive brand. We test drove three different ones and liked Chicco the best.

Again the grandparents are buying the nursery furniture. Babies R Us isn’t doing the “Buy 3 pieces and get the crib half off” anymore. Instead, they are giving out a $150 gift card when you buy a set of nursery furniture. Luckily, that gift card will cover the cost of a mattress. We also may go ahead and order the Fuzzibunz cloth diapering system. That leaves the baby monitor, tub, and swing on the list of must haves. I’m sure a diaper bag would come in handy too. I’d like to get started on a baby book. I’d also love to have one of the Bjorn baby carriers. Ah well, as long as we have all the must haves I will be a much less anxious mamma.

Thank you God for such a blessing. I can’t stop thinking about my little boy and all the wonderful things we’ll do together as a family. What a wild never-ending adventure it’s going to be. I swear to enjoy every second of it…even if it kills me.

16 weeks and 5 days

2011-01-10T10:25:00.003-05:00

I’m beginning to wonder if I’m just going to give birth to a giant macaroni noodle. I’ve been eating a lot of it….and keeping in down. I guess it’s not really a strange craving…could be worse. If this child wants nothing to do with macaroni & cheese, I will completely understand.

I made the first purchase for the baby over the weekend, Snicker doodle bedding from Babies R Us. I also created a baby registry at Amazon.com filled with almost every Precious Planet accessory you can find. I love the cute animals and I know my baby will too. The grandparents have decided that they want to buy the nursery furniture. We found a three piece set at Babies R Us for around $1300. Luckily it will grow with the child. The bed can be converted all the way to full size and the “changing table” looks more like a dresser. Yes the baby will have a better bed than us but I don’t care. I’d give him/her the entire world if I could. I have one more purchase to make at Babies R Us. They had a changing table cushion and cover set. It also included a mattress cover and a few other needed items. Then the hubby and I will need to save for the mattress, baby monitor, and car seat/stroller duo. Aside from those things…the last major item we need is the FuzziBunz cloth diapering system. They offer a kit that includes everything you need for a discounted price of $350. Seems expensive but if you add up the cost of pampers for two years…we’re saving hundreds. The diapers are adjustable and last from birth to potty training age. They are easy to use…easy to wash…easy on baby. I should be able to wash every other day so the water bill won’t be much different than it is now.

Even though we are barely prepared for the arrival of our munchkin…I still find myself saying “I can’t wait”. I can’t wait to hold him/her. I’m surprisingly fearless at the moment. I’m sure that will change in a few months. Right now…I’m just happy .

Blessings 2011

2011-01-05T12:13:00.012-05:00

I haven't elaborated much on my pregnancy journey. Mostly because I've been too sick and also because of my insane fear that I may jinx something. I've realized that no matter what happens...good or bad...I want to share. I already love this child more than what I thought my heart could hold. Even if I lose this pregnancy tomorrow...this baby existed...has a name...and is loved. That can't be taken away. So let's rewind a few months...

Sept 26th 2010 - I wrote this about a month before I found out I was pregnant

I can't accept the fact that you'll never exist. It would be too great a tragedy. I know your name. I dream of you often. I can hear your cries and giggles. I can feel your little hands on mine. I can smell you. I can see you and you are beautiful. I can't imagine a world without you and yet...you are not here.

Ever since I had my miscarriage in late 2007 my body hadn’t been cooperating. Not only were there the physical issues…but I fell into a black void of depression. I sort of caved in on myself. In 2009 I began the fertility tests, rounds of fertility drugs/shots, two rounds of insemination…..and nothing. The tests were painful...the drugs made me ill. It was a physical and emotional rollercoaster. I was begging, pleading, and praying for some sort of sign as to what I was supposed to do. I’d wanted to be a mother my entire life but maybe it wasn’t in God’s plans for me….or maybe he was just saying “not yet”. At any rate, I was being impatient. I wanted to know why my body wasn’t working right. I felt broken. I felt like I was letting my husband down. I thought that maybe God gave us these doctors so we could get a helping hand when things didn’t run a more natural course. After about a year and a half of treatments...I threw in the proverbial towel. I was draining the bank account. I prayed that if I wasn't to be blessed with a child that God help me deal with that fact. I put my fate completely in His hands. I had rewritten my future plans without children. It was dismal but I could do it. With my faith, family, friends...I was going to deal with it just fine. Of course I got the "Why not just adopt?" from many people. Adoption costs...a lot. Sure babies do too...but at least it's spread out over about 20 years.

10/27 – I went to the doctor because I wasn’t feeling well. Well I went to the doctor because I was sick of not feeling well. I was prepared to demand that my thyroid be checked and that I get some answers as to why I felt the way I did….sick, tired, nauseated all the time. I couldn’t seem to lose weight no matter how much I restricted my calories or how much I exercised. Did I have PCOS…Hyperthyroidism…WHAT WAS IT?!?!

I forgot about all those demands when I got a positive pregnancy test result from the doctor. I had done a test at home and it was negative. Even though I got a negative test at home I still thought that maybe I was pregnant. I pushed it out of my mind as best I could. I wasn’t going to let myself believe it and then be heartbroken again.

I was shocked and happy when the nurse assistant told me I had a positive result. Once the shock wore off I was instantly afraid that I was going to wake up and realize that it was just a dream. I kept thinking about the miscarriage I had at 8 weeks. This was too good to be true.

The dr had to put me on progesterone. My levels were low and in the first trimester that’s not a good sign. The reason I had the first miscarriage was because my progesterone levels plummeted. My heart wasn’t strong enough to deal with that again.

11/9 – First ultrasound – 8 weeks along

I was nervous going for my first ultrasound. I half expected the ultrasound tech to say “Oh there’s nothing in there”….but then I saw it….and I saw the little heart flutter on the monitor. “There really IS something in there”. It was very real to me then and I couldn’t stop smiling. Of course over the next few months I wasn’t smiling. I’ve never puked so much in my life. I’ve never been so sick. I spent most of my time in bed and avoiding food…smells…movement.

I’m four months pregnant now. The day after my birthday I got to listen to the heart beat again. Of course…I was nervous. I don’t think that will ever go away…even when the baby arrives. Again I thought…what if there’s no heartbeat? Then I heard it again. I can’t feel the baby move yet so every reassurance is much appreciated. It’ll be four more weeks until I get another ultrasound. Then we’ll know if we’re having a boy or girl…hopefully. Either way…I couldn’t be happier.

Some people don’t realize how much of a miracle a baby is. A lot of women get pregnant quickly and never realize the amazing process that takes place behind the scenes, Even if you don’t believe in miracles…the science is there. Everything has to be in perfect balance. My fertility doctor never confirmed the reason I had trouble getting pregnant. It isn’t an exact science. There’s still so much they don’t know. At any rate, I believe in miracles. I’ve been blessed and I will be eternally grateful.

Oskar is four and I'm....not

2011-01-02T12:18:00.005-05:00

My fuzzy boy Oskar turned 4 on January 2nd. He's the sweetest dog and I hope that I get to share my birthday with him for many years to come.

As usual the hubby spoiled me. I got cupcakes from "The Cup" (awesome place) in Turkey Creek. He gave me a ton of gifts including a new lens for my camera :squeel:. As always, he made getting another year older a lot sweeter.

Athbhliain faoi mhaise duit!

2011-01-01T10:22:00.003-05:00

I wish everyone a very happy new year. I hope 2011 brings you many blessings...wonderful memories…possibly a few adventures. I hope it’s a year of good health, good friends….good times.

I’m looking at 2011 with different eyes. Or maybe mine are really open for the first time. I’m not a twenty something anymore. My feet are becoming firmly planted in the earth. The free spirit in me can come down out of the clouds and stop searching for a higher calling. This year I’ll be a mother. There won’t be many hiking adventures or weekends out with friends. I won’t get to take all the photography classes I had wanted. There probably won’t be a beach vacation or a long road trip to see my sister in Fargo, ND. I won’t be going to school, learning herbalism, belly dance, or reiki. No violin lessons and no midwife assistant training. I will however be doing something that I’ve wanted to do since I was a young girl. All that other stuff pales in comparison. I’ll have my dream job being a mommy.

2010 was filled with fertility treatments and anguish. There were many great things that happened last year but unfortunately they are shadowed by all the pain and turmoil that was brewing inside my body. I’m blessed to have a husband that was very supportive throughout the whole ordeal. He deserves a medal. My friends were of course a constant source of understanding and cheer. I enjoyed getting to know my sister better, photography classes and trips with Dove, Hiking adventures with Koni, and laughs with the hubby.

At any rate, let us all move forward and only look back to ponder the happy memories. Happy 2011 and God bless. <3>

A very special Christmas

2010-12-25T12:23:00.005-05:00

Christmas is always a rather magical and special time to me. Not only because of the real reason for the season, and not just because I absolutely love to give gifts….but because it’s free time to spend with family. We did our normal thing this year. Spent time with my parents, then Bryan and I had our own little Christmas together. Then it was off to Nashville and Arkansas to see Bryan’s mom, step-dad, brother, grandfather, aunt, and uncle. All the traveling was rough but it’s a tradition that I’d hate to miss out on. We try to show the people that we love just how much they mean to us in what little time we have with them. It’s so easy to get caught up in the day to day stuff. We work all the time…there’s always house work. We just don’t get to spend time with the people that matter most. It’s a shame…but sadly it’s reality.

This Christmas was the most special one I’d ever experienced. Thinking back…all my Christmas wishes have come true. I have a wonderful husband and he is the love of my life. I know my sister and what a special person she is. I have a home of my own. Some of the greatest people I know, I can call them friends. I have two of the most loveable dogs in the world. My parents are still with me and they are my foundation. My last wish was to have a child and this Christmas I was carrying one in my belly. It’s truly the greatest gift. I feel profoundly blessed.

I’m left wanting for nothing…except…I want this child to know the true meaning of “Family”. My Christmas wish for next year is that we get more time with both sides of the family. This includes all of our friends who are as important as family to us. I want my baby to have a great relationship with everyone. Traditions are important to me. They bring a sense of normalcy to a hectic crazy life. I want to carry on old traditions and create some new ones. I’m depending on my little one to breathe new life into a stagnant existence. I’m hoping he/she brings everyone together. Almost like a moth to a flame...our little one will be “family” time bait. Perhaps it’s a shameless tactic but whatever works…right?

I hope everyone had a very merry Christmas…happy birthday to our Lord…God bless you all.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1

2010-12-01T12:01:00.013-05:00

This past Sunday Bryan and I made the trek to Turkey Creek to see HP7. It was rough getting there. I wasn't sure I'd make it through the whole movie since I've been so sickly...but I did. I'm so glad we made the attempt. My hubby is a brave man.

The movie was immaculate. It was exactly as I expected. Plenty of action, drama, and some light comedy sprinkled throughout. Of course we all now (those of us that have read the books) it's the beginning of the end. It's not a cheery feel good movie. It's sad and depressing. We lose a few beloved characters in the first installment. We see the crumble of the HP world we've all loved for years. The decline of the wizarding society has begun. The Ministry of Magic has been infiltrated with the most vile witches and wizards. Muggles, mudbloods, anyone who gets in the way of the dark lord...are being brutally murdered. Death Eaters are everywhere. It's almost hard to watch but the movie is visually stunning. I'm not sure I'd enjoy the movie as much if I didn't know the whole story...but for us die hard fans it's a must see. Just keep in mind the inevitable. The end is near.

Hello,I love you

2010-11-09T12:25:00.002-05:00

8 week ultrasound

October at Old Gray Cemetery

2010-10-10T15:01:00.011-05:00

Happy Harvest Moon

2010-09-24T11:16:00.004-05:00

Happy Harvest Moon

I can smell it in the air. It's that time again. I adore Autumn. It's a time of festivals, pumpkin flavored goodies, and colorful leaves. The weather is cooler and it's perfect for hiking...for bonfires...ghost stories...or for lounging in the hammock with a good book. It's a time to bake pies and make cobblers...throw some Irish strew in the crockpot. I could just sit and stare at the beautiful TN hills. I can't wait to photograph the leaves...decorate the house...sip some spiced cider. It is the most magical time of the year!

An open letter to Demetria Clark

2010-09-23T13:13:00.000-05:00

A very personal letter to the founder of Heart of Herbs:

My name is Farrah McDaniel and I’m just a rural Appalachian girl. Sticking my bare feet in the dirt and communing with nature makes my spirit sing. The forest is my church. The animals are my friends. My soul craves the plants and wildlife. From a very young age I knew who I wanted to be and where I wanted to go. I wanted to grow things, care for animals, and help people. I wanted to spend my life in the dirt, in the sunshine, picking wildflowers. I wanted to be a nurturer, a healer, a helper, and an artist. Somewhere along life’s path…I lost myself. I’ve spent at least 16 of my 30 years trying to get back to me.

Like most teenagers, I wanted to go out and change the world. In high school I enrolled in AFJROTC. I was G.I. Jane. I was going to protect millions and serve my country….give something back because I had so much. I was going to prove myself in a mans world. The little flower girl was squashed and repressed. This was my ticket out of a small town. I was going to see the world and conquer it. After high school I joined the Air Force. For reasons out of my control my military career ended before it even had a chance to begin. By an act of fate and to the relief of my loved ones…I was a civilian once again. I was never meant to be a soldier. I love our soldiers but the “guts and glory” is not for me. And so that chapter of my life ended.

It was back to the stifled small town. I enrolled at a local private college. I mindlessly went to class so that I could earn a pretty piece of paper….to make my parents happy. I was studying computer information systems. Another male dominated area. Technology was the way of the future. My parents approved. I was going to make lots of money and be self sufficient. A tiny part of me was screaming to be let free but I shut her up and continued. How lucky I was to get a chance to have a college education. I was in misery. I was also in love. It consumed me. All my energy was focused on being with my high school sweetheart. My every waking thought was of him…of how happy we would be….of the family we could have together. School was not important anymore. Love at that age is a force to be reckoned with. It’s “Romeo & Juliet”….it’s “Wuthering Heights”. It’s a storm that can’t be quailed. It’s passionate and fiery. Everything else faded away. He became my life. After three years, I ended up dropping out of school.

After what felt like a lifetime, we were married in 2004. I was age 24. So far I had fallen short of my goal of being in the AF and graduating college. I had however made one dream come true. I was married to a wonderful man. And so began my life as a wife. After a year of searching for a job that would make me happy…I settled for anything. It was all about working to pay the bills. It was about cooking and cleaning. My life revolved around my husband. I was more lost than ever. I was not myself and it showed. My long time friends didn’t recognize me. I didn’t recognize me. The “9-5 M-F stuck in a cubicle” lifestyle had drained me. I followed my husband around like a puppy….a lost puppy.

A marriage can’t survive without two “whole” people. I wasn’t whole. I wasn’t living…merely existing. I thought a child would be the answer to my prayers. I needed a baby to feel complete. After the loss of our first pregnancy in 2007, I sank even deeper. There was nothing but the daily grind to fill my time. The tiny voice was back and she was saying “You don’t belong here. This is not for you. You’re supposed to be doing something else. LISTEN TO ME!!!”. I was never meant to be chained to a desk. My spirit had withered like a flower without water and sunshine. I felt like a mother without a child…a great artist without a canvas. I almost became a wife without a husband. I had allowed myself to change so much that I had stopped
being the person my husband loved.

After four years and almost losing my marriage, I began the journey of finding my true self once again. I became more independent. I found a life separate from my mate. I took time for myself. It wasn’t long after that…that I made a new friend at work. She’s a very dear and kindred spirit. Like me, she loves nature. The trees were a sanctuary for us both. We began going on great hiking adventures. It was like being reunited with a long lost loved one. Slowly I was returning. I was writing again, creating art, enjoying Mother Nature. My marriage was stronger. I was healthier. The light was back in my eyes. I was loving myself…and in turn…was able to be loved.

And so it was time to devise a plan. What was I going to do with the rest of my life? After almost two years of fertility treatments and no child…I decided to focus on other aspects of my life. I had contemplated becoming a nurse for years. Nurses are important and they help people. I could be a forest ranger and spend my days walking the trails. I had started taking photography classes with a close friend of mine. I could become a photographer and travel the world capturing precious moments. I could go to art school. I could make my living setting up shop at markets across TN and selling my handcrafted goods. I could get a social work degree; I DO want to help children. There’s also the TN School of Massage. I could heal people with my hands. I also love herbs and natural medicine. I had always carried around a book of natural cures. One day I stumbled upon HeartofHerbs.com and daydreamed about taking the course. “Some day” I would do it. My mind was split into so many different directions. The possibilities were endless.

A couple years passed. At age 30 I knew it was time to once and for all…pick a path. I prayed about it. I meditated. Then one day…a friend and I decided to have a “Soul Reading” done at a place called Gypsy Hands. My friend Dove has been my sister through life...and she was also my fellow photography classmate. She was at a point in her life where she needed some guidance as well. We had been toying with the idea for about a year and finally made an appointment with Sara Griscom. That day was a turning point. I never uttered a word about all of the turmoil brewing in my mind. The lovely intuitive looked at me and one of the first things she said was, “You’re a healer. You are great with herbs. You are a mother…an intuitive…a nurturer. You are the divine feminine.” She said that nursing was not for me but that I can help people in other ways. She encouraged me not to be afraid to be who I am. I shouldn’t be ashamed to be… ME.

There’s no more repressing the little mountain girl. I’m back to being barefoot and free…playing in the dirt. I’m going back to that small town way of life. I am moving forward. I know where to focus my energies. The GreenSpirit Intensive Herbal training combines my love for nature, my healing heart, my affinity for animals, and my artistic talents. I can even incorporate my passion for photography and writing. It’s almost as if I dreamed the program into existence. Please consider me for a scholarship. I would be forever grateful and I will do everything to put your teachings to good use. I will learn the program and I will live it. I will use it…and I will help to heal many. Also, I will heal myself.

A kindred spirit,

Farrah McDaniel

OSPH Paranormal Camp 2010

2010-09-21T13:20:00.013-05:00

Old South Pittsburg hospital, located in So Pittsburg TN, opened its doors in 1959 and closed them in 1998. There’s no sordid history to the hospital. It was just a place of medicine….of healing…and of dying. Many believe that some of the patients never left. Who knows…maybe some of the past hospital staff still hang around to care for the spirits of patients from long ago.

On Saturday, Sept 18th, the hubby and I headed to South Pittsburg TN. It’s about a 2 ½ hour drive from home. We were ready for a day of paranormal classes held in the lower level of Old South Pittsburg Hospital. We arrived at the hospital early Saturday morning. Most of the event guests had spent Friday night to do an investigation. We walked into a pitch dark hospital and saw some very sleepy, wild haired, people roaming the halls like zombies. Classes started at 9 but of course…if anyone knows “Ghost Hunters”…not so much the morning people. I guess being up all night will do that to you. At any rate, the lectures began eventually. My hubby and I stayed for three speakers and then hit the road. It was well worth the drive out there. I wish I could have met EVERYONE…maybe next time.

Bryan (hubby) wandering a hallway

Bryan Whatley/Director of Ghost Hunter of the South – Lectured on the different types of paranormal investigating equipment. Most of the stuff being of course…things we use in every day life for other purposes. Many of us have a digital camera, voice recorder, or flash lights. I plan on investing in a good EMF detector and digital voice recorder. I don’t go on many investigations so I’m in no rush to purchase anything. As it is, I’m perfectly content with my digital camera and my cell phone. An iPhone can be pretty handy. It can record and photograph. There’s also an app called “iOvilus”. The iOvilus produces speech based on changes to sensors on the iPhone. It’s a controversial method of investigation used by some teams. I personally don’t put much stock in it. It’s merely interesting. Bryan was very informative and an all around nice guy.

Tommy Golden/ Founder and Director of Middle Tennessee Ghost Chasers – Discussed EVP’s. This is the second time I’ve heard one of Tommy’s lectures. First time was at Octagon Hall’s 150th celebration in 2009. I love hearing him talk. He graced us with some awesome EVP’s. He also had some inspirational stories for us…about investigations and his life in general. On a side note, his wife is an absolute sweetheart

Father Andrew Calder/Founder of Georgia Paranormal Research Team – Fr. Calder talked to us about “Demonology 101”. I thought he looked familiar to me. I didn’t realize he had been on a few episodes of “Paranormal State”. I learned a lot from him…saw some amazing photos…and got chills from many of the things he told us. I only hope his lectures deter any “green” or even seasoned paranormal investigators from attempting to deal with the demonic. It’s not something to take lightly. It isn’t a joke…it isn’t fun. It’s a serious matter best left to the professionals. Father Calder is a good ol’ southern boy and I hope to catch another lecture by him. Also, his wife was just a pleasure to be around…very nice couple.

I’m sad that I didn’t get to see Keith Age again. I had seen him at Octagon Hall’s 150th celebration in 2009. I was helping CGH at that event so I didn’t spend much time listening to the speakers. Sadly I didn’t introduce myself either. I mean, put me in the hot sun for six hours without much to drink or eat…and well…I turn into a rather cranky anti-social back-woods mountain woman. I also missed Dakota Lawrence’s lecture on the metaphysical property of stones. I hope I can catch him at a later date. There we a few other speakers there that had some amazing topics. I didn't recognize their names but I DO live under a rock. I’m going to keep an eye out for them at any upcoming events as well.

At any rate, I had a fun outing with my hubby. I enjoyed the lectures immensely. Thank you Cindy for the experience! I can’t wait to do it again!

Back to the Future

2010-08-24T11:28:00.003-05:00

A few days ago I went through boxes of stuff that had been sitting around for years. In them were letters from boyfriends I had in high school…middle school…elementary school. I had mementos from every part of my life from childhood to now. Letters from friends….letters from people I barely knew…lists of goals and great plans…ticket stubs and receipts. I threw most of it away. I don’t need reminders of people best left forgotten. Also, my most cherished memories are in my head…and they are of people that are still in my life.

My life didn’t go the way I had it all planned out in 9th grade. I’ve never flown fighter jets in the Air force. I didn’t become a famous artist. I’m not a female rights/animal rights activist. I’m not a computer engineer or programmer. I’m not a black belt in every martial art known to man. It seems I was drawn to the things that were less female friendly. It’s almost like I thought I had to prove that I could run with the boys and hold my own. I’m not sure where that G.I. Jane attitude came from.

I’m not sure exactly…the point at which I lost myself. I’m just a rural country girl. I love the mountains and animals. I love growing things and using what the earth provides us. I’ve never felt closer to God than when I’m out in nature. I like the feel of my bare feet and hands in the dirt. I have a genuine desire to help people. I don’t understand why I felt the need to leave that part of myself behind. I guess I can chock it up to being young. Who doesn’t want to conquer the world and prove themselves when they’re a teenager?

Ever since I went through all my keepsakes I can’t stop thinking about the things I would do differently. So much that I’m dreaming about it. I keep dreaming that I’m back in high school and I’m making different choices so that I get all the desired end results….without all the stupid mistakes. However, I’m so fearful that I’m going to change the wrong thing and not end up with all the same great memories and friends. I’m a paranoid mess and it’s a nightmare. Change one thing and who knows what kind of affect it will have on the future. I guess the moral of it is…everything happens the way it does for a reason. I am who I am today because of the trials I went through when I was younger. I made some bad decisions. There’s no changing the past. I can only do things differently in the present. I need to get myself back in the here and now.

It’s not over yet. I still have a laundry list of things I want to do...to accomplish…to experience. There’s still plenty of time to make new memories. I just have to stay focused.

Goals:

Be a better friend, daughter, wife, Christian
Find a career that makes my spirit happy
See more of the world: Major national parks, Ireland, New Zealand, etc
Complete Holistic/Herbalist Certification
Complete Reiki Training at Gypsy Hands
Complete Photography Certification
Complete Wilderness First Responder Certification
Complete the Naturalist Certification
Complete the midwife assistant training at The Farm
Hike every trail in the Smokies
Hike the AT
Create more art
Seek more adventure: Zip line, Sky dive, mountain climb, ride a hot air balloon
Find a way to help those that deserve it
Get a Bachelor’s degree
Get back to a simpler way of life like farming, gardening, animal husbandry (Farm life)
Have a family

Winners!

2010-08-23T11:23:00.014-05:00

It's been a while since I blogged about the latest and greatest products I've discovered. Of course, Earth Fare is a plethora of "good for you" goodies and I've recently stumbled upon some new favorites. I threw a few old favorites in there as well. I've also added some website links to my blog where you can order them if you don't have a local Earth Fare.

In no particular order:

Luna Bars - Nutz Over Chocolate, White Chocolate Macadamia, & Cookie and Cream Delight

Nature's Splash - Raspberry Blackberry

Teas Tea - Green Jasmine, Rose

Bhuja - Crunchy Seasoned Peas

Endangered Species - Otter Milk chocolate

Calbee - Snapea Crisps

Terra - Exotic vegetable chips

Pacific - Chocolate hazelnut milk

Alexia - Onion strips

Steaz - Raspberry Sparkling Green Tea

Yogi - India Spice tea bags

Dagoba - Chai Chocolate

Ayalas - Herbal Water Cinnamon Orange

Alternative Baking Company - Vegan cookies (all the flavors are awesome!)

Blue Diamond - Vanilla Almond Milk

Cascadian Farms - Fruitful O's Cereal

Amy's (frozen) - Rice Mac n Cheese, Cheese pizza with rice crust, Pesto tortellini, Vegetable Pie, Santa Fe Enchilada bowl, Tofu scramble

Misc:

Burt's Bees Herbal Blemish Stick

Burt's Bees Honey Lip Balm

Burt's Bees Lip Balm with Passionfruit SPF 8

Burt's Bees Lip Shimmer - Watermelon, Caramel, Nutmeg, Champagne

Alba Pineapple Enzyme Facial Scrub

Alba Sugar Cane Body Polish

Smith's Rosebud Salve

Pacifica Nerola Orange Blossom Perfume (Solid)

Zum Bar - Lavender

Tom's of Maine Honeysuckle Rose Deodorant

Triloka Incense - Lavender Fields

Anne Rice leaves Christianity...in the name of Christ

2010-08-03T11:08:00.009-05:00

It's been a few years since I blogged about Anne Rice's decision to quit her vampire series and become a Christian. I was saddened by the news as she is one of my favorite vampire fiction writers but I respected her decision. I myself, am a vampire fiction loving Christian.

Anyway, at the end of July Anne formally declared that she was leaving Christianity "in the name of Christ". Her reasons being that she refuses to be anit-gay, anti-feminist, anti-artificial birth control, anti-science, anti-democrat. She said she no longer wants to be part of such a quarrelsome group.

I almost understand where she is coming from. We have plenty of child abuse scandels in the Catholic church....but it has nothing to do with Christianity. That has to do with some very "messed up" people that belong to the church. Also, I know there are wars being fought in the name of Christianity and religion. Those wars couldn't be farther from true Christian morals. They are fought for human gain...nothing more or less.

I am a Christian. I am not anti-gay. I'm not against birth control. I like science. I'm a Libertarian but I don't hate democrats or republicans. I love our soldiers but hate the war. I don't argue about religion. Religion is going to be the downfall of our society. I'm a humanitarian. I beleive in working towards a common goal of peace. I don't hate someone based on their beliefs, or the color of their skin etc. I beleive in the Golden Rule. If this makes me an outcast then so be it.

Anne Rice will remain one of my favorite writers but she has left me beweildered. Don't blame Christians for what people do in the name of religion. Stand by your convictions. Do not let yourself be compromised by the corrupt people of the world.

Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got. ~Janis Joplin

Rant #45389 Pollution is a sin too

2010-07-23T12:25:00.005-05:00

Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart.

Anne Frank

Insanity is the only sane reaction to an insane society.
Thomas Szas

I truly believe that individuals can make a difference in society. It is up to each of us to make the best use of our time to help create a happier world.
Dalai Lama

A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.
Greek proverb

Anger...greed…lack of regard for fellow man and the environment… has squashed the last shred of humanity in some people. Does that make them inhuman? If so, can we have them put down like a rabid dog? I’d prefer the rabid dog over some of the people I encounter nowadays.

The quote from Anne Frank was my favorite as a young girl. Being the sunshiny optimist I also believed that people were inherently good. With enough love, even the worst of us could become a decent member of society. I pictured the cartoon Grinch as his heart grew and grew, each time I saw someone that just needed a “hug”. Cavity inducing...I know.

Nowadays, my rose colored glasses are broken. I still believe that all people have “good” in them…but now I know without a doubt that everyone has “bad” to go along with it and it can’t be loved or hugged away. It’s just a matter of percentages. For example, I give Mother Teresa a 99/1 good/bad ratio. I also think that like a flesh eating disease…evil begets evil and it grows devouring honesty, love, faith, respect, integrity, fellowship, etc. It consumes the good to the point where it can’t be recovered. It’s like a cancer.

What is evil? Complete disregard for the life or quality of life of your fellow man. It’s lack of compassion. It’s breeding hate, pain, and chaos and relishing in it. It exists in different degrees. It’s throwing trash out your window, it’s calling someone a name behind their back, and it’s stabbing someone the eye with a pencil. Just because what you do isn’t AS bad as something someone else did…doesn’t mean you earn the gold star for citizenship by default. It all matters. The negative energy snowballs. It rubs off on people.

I’m not trying to be all doom and gloom but if things don’t change we’re all going to be wearing oxygen masks and walking around in high water waders to avoid breathing and bathing in toxic waste. THEN we can all wear sunglasses to avoid burning our retinas and wear SPF 5000 to avoid becoming extra crispy due to the ozone depletion. Clean water will go for $1200 bucks a bottle and the food we eat will be 100% chemical additives.

It’s not just the pollution aspect…but we’ll have to walk around with a gun strapped to us and enough ammunition to take out a decent sized village just to protect ourselves from greedy POS strung out meth addicted thieves that infiltrate our society like maggots in a piece of rotting meat.
We won’t be able to trust anyone and God will have been removed from every aspect of our lives. We’re headed where at 90mph in a hand basket?

:Deep breath:

I hate BP…thieves…murderers…pharmaceutical companies that only care about making a buck…people who hunt for sport just to add a trophy to their wall…dirty politicians and cops….people who throw their cigarette butts down on the trails….doctors that don’t care…parents that don’t care… selfishness and self pity. I also hate…hate. /end rant

Happy Birthday to my Sweetheart

2010-07-10T14:28:00.004-05:00

On the 8th of July my dear hubby turned the big 3-0. I wanted to make it the best birthday in all his thirty years. Words or no manner of gift can express how much I love him. We've watched each other grow up...evolve. I've seen him become a very hard working, loving man. I couldn't ask for a better mate. Things haven't always been "sunshine and rainbows" but I wouldn't want it any other way. He's a wonderful person...whether he knows it or not. I hope to spend the next 60+ birthdays with him. I only hope that one day he'll realize just how much I do love him. It's not fathomable just yet. I keep trying to show him day after day. That's all a person can do for the people they love. If I could package it up and hand it to him as a birthday gift I would.

Happy birthday baby! I hope all your wishes come true!

Rich Mountain Loop

2010-07-05T13:11:00.002-05:00

Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So... get on your way.

~Dr. Seuss

Rich Mountain Adventure

It was a grueling six hours up the mountain on the first day. The humidity wouldn't allow the sweat to evaporate from our bodies. Squirrel and I downed three liters of water in no time. Most of the creeks we crossed were bone dry. Finally, we were able to refil in a tiny trickle of a stream. We didn't hike very far the first day but it was a work out nonetheless.

We made it to campsite #5 in about six hours which put our arrival time around four o' clock. The camp was quiet and secluded. We were completely surrounded by dense trees. We had opted to follow a small side path within the campsite that led to an area more suitable for hammocking. We had more options for private potty places as well! An hour or so after we arrived a father and son duo set up camp in the main area. A very cute blond headed little boy was our entertainment for the evening.

According to a sign near camp, a water source was nearby. Squirrel and I trekked to the nearest dry creek bed and decided we had gone far enough. We were certain we'd find water the next morning so back to camp we marched.

Not long after sundown we were rocking peacefully in our cocoons. Peaceful except of course for the constant droning. Evidently I was sharing one of my trees with a nest of yellow jackets. They went to sleep once the air cooled. Also there was a constant THUMP THUMP THUMP. Evidently half the forest was made up of Hickory trees. They were losing their immature "fruits". It was a concussion waiting to happen.

The fireworks began around ten. We couldn't see the patriotic display but the sounds bounced of the mountain side. It reminded me of my hubby. We sit on the front porch every 4th of July and watch the fireworks. By accident I discovered that I had cell signal. The camp was situated on the side of the mountain closest to the cell tower. I was able to text my sweetie and then drift happily off to sleep. Yes, I actually slept while camping in the backcountry. There's a first time for everything.

I awoke the next morning a little before six to the sound of nature's alarm clock, wood peckers. Shortly after that the whole forest sprang to life. Except for dear Squirrel. She slept for a few more hours. We were in no hurry. This trip was about relaxation.

We packed up camp and headed out close to ten o' clock. Our first order of business was to find water. We were down to a bottle each and had resorted to rationing it one tiny sip at a time.

The hike on day two consisted of running the ridge. It was another scorching hot day but the sky was beautiful. Pink and white Rhododendron petals decorated the trail. Black-eyed Susan's and blackberries lined our path. We passed a few breaks in the trees where we could see the smoky mountain tops as well as the modest towns below. The sound of church-bells filled the air. Before we knew it, we were standing at the trail junction. Campsite #6 was right around the corner down a different trail.

We had arrived at our next home and it was only about two o' clock. We hadn't passed a single water source but then again...how could we? We were on the ridge. According to the map, there was a creek not far from us. While I set up camp, Squirrel went in search of water. She managed to find the creek that was marked on the map and wandered up the dry creek bed until she found remnants of water. Once again, Squirrel saved the day.

Now it was time to enjoy the fruits of our labor. We explored camp, taking photos of anything that peaked our interest. Squirrel fashioned a cozy modest toilet room out of a few trees and our rain flies. We chatted, snacked on trail food, and listened to the woodland critters. The most relaxing part was reading while lounging in the hammock. The breeze was blowing up and over the tip of the mountain. It felt divine. We had the entire camp to ourselves. It was the epitome of peaceful.

THIS is why we do what we do. It's why we risk injury...why we exhaust our bodies. It's the reason we go where most people don't...or else...won't. Carrying a heavy pack up the mountain in the July heat is NOT my idea of fun. In this case it's more about the destination than the journey. Don't get me wrong. I love exploring new trail and the adventure that is...hiking. However, getting to actually sit and enjoy everything around me while out in the wilderness...it's a religious experience. It's food for the soul! I can't get enough of it!!!

Squirrel and I retired to our hammocks right before sundown. The THUMP THUMP THUMP had followed us. We had managed to survive another day without being beaned by the aerial nut assault. Unfortunately I had lost all cell signal. We had left it far behind on the other side of Rich mountain. I drifted off to sleep with thoughts of my sweetheart and dreams of becoming a ridge runner. I slept soundly all night.

According to Squirrel, we had visitors.
Some critter decided to rock her back to sleep by swinging her hammock. Also, she heard the exasperated grumbles of a bear. He must have been upset that he couldn't get to our packs. They were swinging up in the tree tops on the bear line. I was oblivious to all the goings on of the night. I slept like a baby. Squirrel and I emerged from our cocoons around sixish. We had breakfast, freshened up, gathered the gear, and said goodbye to our sanctuary. It was time to hit the trail and head back down the mountain.

We left camp a tick before eight. It was a sweltering trek back down the mountain but we emerged about two and a half hours later at the Cades Cove welcome center. It wasn't long after that, we were on the road headed home. I wasn't ready to leave but I missed my hubby. I was ready for a tall cold drink....and a bath. It was time to rehydrate and plan for the next escape. I can't wait!

Lessons learned:

*Do not tie hammock to a tree with yellow jacket nest. It’ll sound like the World Cup all night long. Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

*When there’s a 7 inch rain deficit, pack extra EXTRA water. Even the creeks that were gushers are dried up.

*Tuna packets…while filling and tasty…not good pack food. The juice still gets everywhere. Can we say bear bait?

*Little Debbie Fig bars are not good pack food either. They become squished too easily and turn into a very hard to eat paste.

*Beware the nut trees. It doesn’t matter the size of the nut…only how far they are falling. Ouch!

*A hammock is the only way to go. I’ll never pitch another tent.

*A book was a nice “extra” to take along on the hike. Reading while swinging in a hammock in the summer breeze = very nice.

*Spray bug spray everywhere BEFORE getting dressed. You never know what mosquito is lurking just waiting for you to drop trou.

*Check ozone levels before heading out…as if the heat wasn’t bad enough…sheesh.

*With July, comes HUGE black ants…they bite. Keep your stuff up off the ground.

Heard on the trail:

“We’re going to run out of water”

“We can always pee in a bottle”

“I’d pee in a bottle for you, but I wouldn’t admit to it”

“Where’s your squirrel?”

“Stuffed him in the pack for the night”

:Quizzical look:

“What? Can YOU imagine waking up to stuffed squirrel parts everywhere?! Maybe he smells like food!”

Little Boy: “Their tents hang from trees!”

Trail head

Perhaps I should invest in some lighter socks...hot feet!

Trees surrounding campsite # 5...very private

Home sweet home on night #1 (Campsite #5)

Headed down the trail

Beautiful Rhododendron blossoms

View from the ridge

Giant fungus!

Campsite #6 - Night two

Great read for the hike

Tools of the trade

Acorn & Arthur

Our packs swinging from the bear lines

The tree that swallowed Pooh!

The end of another day

Eclipse of the Heart

2010-07-01T14:23:00.001-05:00

::Warning: This review is for Twilight fans only::

Yep, it’s that time again. Another installment to the Twilight saga made it’s debut on the big screen. Eclipse hit the theatres at midnight on June 29th. On July 1st I went to see it with my lovely friend Dove and her daughter Tiffany.

After having some great food over at Abuelo’s Mexican restaurant, we headed to the Regal Cinema and waited for what felt like days until it was time to be seated. Luckily, we had the place mostly to ourselves. The Edward/Jacob groupies hadn’t swarmed the place just yet.

It seemed as if the movie was over as soon as it began. It was two hours long and not a “slow” moment in the whole movie. I was torn the entire time between Edward and Jacob. The plot of the movie was of course, the big battle between the young army of vampires and the Cullen’s. The wolves played a big role as well; siding with the Cullen’s to help take down the scourge of baby vamps. The ring leader of the newborns, the very bitter Victoria, was waiting in the wings to get her revenge in the name of her fallen lover, James. Her main target is Bella. The reason James met his fate. There was also a race to keep the Vulturi at bay.

Even with the battle going on, I was too preoccupied with the constant struggle Bella felt between the two men she loves. Jacob has a way of tugging on heart strings…but one look from Edward and your heart melts. It WOULD be a tough decision for anyone.

I digress. The movie was my favorite thus far. I can’t wait to see how the director unfolds the story in the next movie. We’ll have to wait a while to see. I’m sure it will be worth the wait.

Now, are you team Jacob or team Edward?

It's about me again

2010-06-18T14:26:00.007-05:00

1. I'm going back to school for Art/Photography as soon as my hubby finishes school.

2. I love "ghost hunting". It's not sacreligious. If anything it pulls me closer to my faith. I'm not afraid of dead people...I'm afraid of the live ones.

3. In a past life...I'm pretty sure I was a gypsy...or possibly a pirate.

4. I'm extremely absent minded. I'm not proud of it but I've learned to embrace it. The garage door is up, the headlights are left on, my lunch is left sitting on the counter.It is what it is.

5. I'd rather be out in the wilderness with just a bottle of water and a Bowie knife....than stuck in a cubicle.

6. I'm getting a tattoo next year...and it's gonna be a doozy.

7. I want to see Ireland. I don't know why... I have wanted to see it since I was a child. I'll see it even if I have paddle there myself.

8. I'm Welsh/Irish/Cherokee. The older I get the more Irish I become.

9. This year I've learned lots about photography and will hopefully get my certificate early next year. Then I'll learn violin, Gaelic, sewing, and archery. There may be some art, cooking, and naturalist classes as well.

10. I am going to hike the entire AT as well as the Sheltowee Trace. After that...John Muhr...Benton-McKye...and any other trail I can find. I'm not a thrill seeker....I just love being out in nature.

11. Neon colors make my mouth water. They're sour.

12. I'd have a petting zoo in my backyard if my hubby would allow it. I'd save every animal I came across.

13. I use to be a femi-Nazi...now I want to be a mountainesque version of a Stepford wife.

14. I have an insane amount of flip flops....they are as close to barefoot as I can get sometimes.

15. I can remember being in my walker at age 2. I could only go backwards.

16. I like playing with matches and it's a miracle I survived childhood.

17. I collect knives, I love baseball, video games, camping, hiking, and playing in the mud. I also like shopping, pedicures, lip gloss, butterflies, flowers, hippie skirts...and anything sparkly. It doesn't have to make sense.

18. God is my rock.

19. I'm too empathetic for my own good. I can't watch the news, sad movies, or be in the same room with someone who is distraught without it rubbing off on me. On a positive note, happy vibes are contageous as well.

20. I could eat watermelon for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and be content.

21. No I don't care what she said or what he did. It's none of my business. I don't care what people think of me. "Those that mind don't matter, those that matter don't mind"

22. I'm a passifist...unless you pick on my family/friends. In that case you may lose an arm.

23. I'm a very curious person. I think it's a wonderful trait that too many people leave in childhood.

24. At age 30 I'm finally a whole person. I know who I am, what I want, where I'm going. People have been forgiven and others have been found. New ventures started with people I love.

25. I've learned the hard way that the plans we set for ourselves don't always work out. Let go, let God.

26. I say goodbye to my fur babies every morning

27. Dr. Suess is my hero

Six years have passed since "I Do"

2010-06-11T11:17:00.000-05:00

I don't need expensive gifts, dinner at fancy restaurants, or trips to Tahiti. I'm perfectly content with watching a movie on the couch, looking at fireflies from our front porch, or taking a walk in the woods. I love you Bryan!

Fundamentals of Photography II Final

2010-06-07T13:06:00.006-05:00

Another credit completed. It was a great class filled with some very talented people. I'll miss you Tom!

The Hidden Passage Adventure

2010-04-27T12:05:00.025-05:00

Waterfall not far from the trail head

The first sign we came to

Thompson overlook

Waterfalls created by the rain

Trail markers

The power lines (moment of clarity #1)

Acorn & Arthur

The end of day #1

The campsite

The entrance to the tunnel

Inside looking back at the entrance

The other side

The twisted bridge

Lessons learned

-Cowboy camping is best left for the cowboys…unless you can sleep in shifts and keep a fire going.
- Use the compass and check the map (check it often!). Don’t trust the signs…or your gut. Sometimes they lie!
- Denatured alcohol is pretty handy for getting a fire going
- Don’t run out of water!!!!!!
- A 40 degree sleeping bag has never kept me warm…not in March, April or June! Time to buy a better one.
- A Therma-rest is an essential piece of gear. I need to get one.

The adventure begins....

(Original plan was to hike from Pickett State Park TN to Cumberland Falls KY = 61 miles)

So we began our journey at around 10am on a Tuesday morning. We found the trail head not far from the visitor’s center at Pickett State Park. Ox and his furry buddy Jake hiked with us for about a mile. I was instantly amazed at some of the rock formations. It was a wet overcast day but I had a good feeling. My poncho was handy and no drizzle was going to dampen my spirits. Mine and Squirrel Friend’s adventure had begun. We alternated between hiking on the ridge and hiking behind a line of rock formations. The waterfalls created by the rocks were beautiful and the “Indian houses” were enchanting. I was finding plenty of water to drink. Most of the trail was sand…interesting.

After about four miles in we started seeing signs of the forest fire that swept through last April. Someone had done a pretty good job of clearing the large trees that had fallen. There were so many more that looked as if a slight breeze might send them crashing down…on my head. New trees and plants were flourishing but I think most of the wildlife had not returned to claim their territory. I heard a few birds…but didn’t see a single one. Saw a tiny inchworm…and that was about it for living creatures that were sharing the trail with us. It was strange but I really felt secluded…and that was nice.

Raindrops keep falling on my head…..

We came upon our first sign…or what was left of it. Evidently the park hadn’t managed to replace those. I know that the funding of parks isn’t a top priority so I wasn’t surprised. The sign was partially burnt but we could still read it. Now Squirrel and I are pretty spoiled when it comes to trail signs. The ones in the Smokies are very helpful and the trail maps are perfection. We rarely have to dig the map out when we’re on a GSMNP trail. At any rate…the signs were a bit confusing on the Sheltowee…and the map was pathetic compared to the ones we were used to. We come to another sign with three arrows pointing in the SAME direction then three trails that led off in three SEPARATE directions. We should have STOPPED and gotten the map out…dug out our compass…and started down the correct trail. Instead we followed trail markers…half of which were burnt…and we searched for the little turtle blazes that would prove to us we were on the right path. We saw plenty of markers. Paint splatters on trees. “Does that look like a turtle to you?”. We saw white markers and brown ones…green ones…and yellow ones. Then another sign that wasn't really clear.

Mile after mile…around and around we go…where we stop…we stop at the power lines. There are no power lines running through the Sheltowee. That’s when we realized what we had done. We had taken the Hidden Passage trail and were almost back to the park. Now I will say…the ten mile Hidden Passage trail is a lovely day hike. I enjoyed it immensely. I only wish it was the trail we were supposed to be on. I felt like such a noob hiker. I had a compass…why was I not using it!!!!!!! Granted we realized we were going South at one point but hey…there are so many switchbacks…mayyybe it was ok. ::Smacks forehead::

Alright, so we had a pow wow in the grass to try to figure the map out and our next course of action. We decided we would go back a mile and take Tunnel Trail and get on John Muhr….which merges into the Sheltowee. Tunnel trail is only 2200 feet. We’ll find a spot to camp and tomorrow morning we’ll be on our way…the correct way. Woohoo!

We get part of the way down Tunnel Trail and find an Indian house and decide to stop. We may not find another shelter and it’s hard to hang a hammock over a bluff. We’ve wasted so much time looking at signs…and markers…and hiking two miles out of our way. The sun was nearing the mountain tops. We needed time to make a hot meal, get a fire going, set up camp, write in our trail journals, frolic amongst the trees and whatnot. We were tired and slightly confused and wondering how we went wrong. I was thirsty. I had about ¼ cup of water left. I hadn’t seen any water in a few miles. I let myself get dehydrated. You know…that thing I said would NEVER happen again.

So dear Squirrel started working on dinner. We used a tin can stove. It’s the bottom of two cans put together with holes in the top. Add denatured alcohol and a flame and you’re cookin’. After a few tries…some singed clothing… and about 15 minutes we are each sporking veggies and rice out of a camp cup. A belly full of warm food is always a good way to end a chilly damp hike. We stuff our food and anything else that might smell appetizing to a critter into deep holes in the side of the rock. I’m pretty sure we looked like a couple of nutty squirrels.

As Squirrel was cleaning up after dinner I was deemed “Keeper of the fire”. I went in search of some rocks and built a nice fire pit. I made a teepee out of all the small dry sticks I could find…threw in some dry leaves and dryer lint and we had a good foundation. I built a “house” around the teepee with some branches…mostly wet. Sprinkled on some alcohol and POOF we had fire :beats chest:. It was nice and hot and the wet wood was drying out. It was working like a charm. Finally, some good luck! It was a good thing Squirrel brought a Bic lighter. My waterproof matches…well…I had to use the lighter…to light them. What good are those?! At any rate it burnt quickly. I kept stacking and the fire consumed our piddly branches like they were toothpicks. So we foraged like two mad squirrels and dragged in all the branches we could find. The forest fire pretty much cleaned the woodland floor. We had two stacks of wood that might have lasted less than two hours. We huddled around the fire and it felt magnificent…for a while. We realized that all the “smoke” we saw was actually coming from our mouth. Our breath. As the sun went down it became colder…and colder.

It was nine o' clock…or as we call it…hikers midnight. So what do you get when you put a sleeping bag on top of an emergency blanket on top of sand? A slipping slide! Right into the …fire. We decided to dig a couple of trenches. Squirrel looked like a mummy wrapped up in her bag…in her trench…unmoving. I was still sliding everywhere. I finally gave in and just slid until I stopped. My foot was resting on the fire pit. Oh well...the fire had fizzled by then anyway. Even if I Did catch fire…I’d be warm for a little while. What I can’t make sick jokes and laugh to myself?

Then…the cold set in. We both lay shivering quiet as church mice. Except for the occasional stomach growl…it was completely silent. Both of us had our bags cinched over our heads. It didn’t help. Any part that was on the ground was bitter cold. I think the sand sapped the heat out of us…what little bit of heat there was. I thought sand was supposed to be great for holding heat in? At any rate…as soon as I heard Squirrel pop her head out of her cocoon I did as well. “Oh you were pretending to be asleep too eh?”. Squirrel had been laying there secretly wishing that I would get a fire going. I had been laying there thinking about doing just that. So…we did. We got a tiny spark of a fire going and we huddled around it and talked for about an hour. Then we retreated back to our cocoons when the fire died and did some more shivering. At one point I tried sleeping sitting up. I gave myself motion sickness. Any time I would nod off…I’d fall forward. Sleeping in ten second intervals…not so great. Every once in a while Squirrel and I would stick our heads out of our icy shell to check the time. That was the second time I’ve waited for the sun to come up. It feels like an eternity.

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

Finally, after a cold miserable sleepless night…it was time to soldier on. Squirrel and I kept promising ourselves…we’ll find a warm spot and take a nap. How glorious that will be! So…onwards and upwards we go. Then we come to…the tunnel. It’s the namesake of this trail. I had flashes of an old Indiana Jones movie running through my head at that point. The opening looks foreboding. It’s a climb straight up just to get to the mouth of the tunnel. It looks more like a small cave entrance. Thankfully, we could see the other side once we got up to it. It wasn't so bad. Of course, we couldn't see what was on the other side. The tunnel went straight up at the end.. Rocks..err boulders had fallen from the ceiling. One support beam had bit the dust. Pools of putrid water were at the entrance. I was very thirsty…but not THAT thirsty. We snaked our way through. Squirrel was leading the way with her headlamp. She made it to the top first. I was still at the bottom waiting for my turn to climb up…then I heard…”OH MY GOD”. My heart hit the tunnel floor and bounced back up into my chest. Exasperated…and…reluctant to hear the answer…I asked..”WHAT NOW?”. I could hear water rushing by. My first thought was that we were standing on the precipice of a giant waterfall. Squirrel couldn’t even answer. Words could not describe what lay before us. Reluctantly I made my way up to see what all the fuss was about. It was a bridge…a sideways bridge. It looked as if a tornado had ripped through and twisted it. The support beams and wires were just dangling. I couldn’t make heads or tails as to the original architecture of this structure. We had reached a dead end. There was no crossing the water. It was deep and fast moving. The climb up the other side would have been damn near impossible. Back through the creepy tunnel we went.

I can’t tell you how aggravating it is to hear cool rushing water…and to be so thirsty…but not be able to get to it. Or else…not have the energy to climb down and get it. It’s enough to drive you mad.

We made it back down from the tunnel and found a nice soggy log to sit on. We stared at the map some more. We were pretty slap happy at that point. Giggling about what COULD have happened if we had tried to cross the slippery bridge o’ death. I pictured myself waving farewell to Squirrel as she is washed downstream “Byyyye Squiirrrrel ol’ pal”. I see myself white knuckling the bridge and hanging on for dear like…indefinitely…too scared to try to stand up. We must be mad. This isn’t funny…it’s horrible!

It was a turning point. The storm front would be hitting us in a day or so. We had already wasted valuable hiking time just working up the courage to pack up camp. Not to mention all the time wasted backtracking. We still needed to spend a few hours sleeping once we found a warm spot. It wasn’t looking good. I needed water and we would have to hike back about 3-4 miles to turn down the RIGHT trail in order to get back on track. So we thought about it. We COULD try to at least make it to Yahoo falls which would cut our sixty mile hike in half. We’d risk another frigid night or two. We’d have to brave the storm. Otherwise we could go back to the Hidden Passage trail and circle back to the ranger station. We could admit defeat…and go home. Now that’s a hard pill to swallow. It’s a smart thing to know when to go home. Another sleepless night and I would have fallen off the trail…never to be seen again. So it was decided. Time to go home and make another plan.

We trudged back up Tunnel trail. My head was pounding from dehydration. I had developed a nice case of jelly legs. We made it back to the trailhead where the trail converged into the trifecta of horrible choices. Squirrel gave me a concerned look and told me to sit tight. And I did...in the middle of the trail. I leaned up against a half burnt sign and almost immediately passed out. It was about thirty five minutes later that an exhausted Squirrel came back with water. Bless her heart. She had gone a mile or so back to a bridge. It was the last spot I had filled up with water. I drank. Funny thing about dehydration…once you reach a certain point and try to drink water it just makes you feel nauseated. At any rate, Squirrel caught her breath and we both slowly lifted our packs which felt no less than a hundred pounds at this point.

We carried on around Hidden Passage trail. That stretch of trail was looking oh so familiar. As well it should. It was the third time we’d hiked that mile. We made it back to the power lines. The sun was shining. It was time for lunch and a nap…mainly…a nap. I think we dozed for a few minutes. We saw our first fellow hiker. He threw up a hand and carried on his merry way…looking well rested and energetic. Bah.

The sun had quickly darted under some clouds and we were both left shivering…again. After a few photo ops…we saddled up and headed down the 1.8 mile stretch to the park.
It wasn’t long before I saw it…civilization. Actually, it was just a few empty park buildings and some people on fast moving lawn mowers. Still my spirit was renewed. I had made it out…well…almost. We were supposed to hoof it down the road a bit and then hop back on the trail. I opted not to do that. I mean…I could see the main road. The welcome station and ranger station couldn’t be far…right? Well…it was. The farther we walked on the hot pavement…the longer the road got. Finally, a ranger or two passed by. One felt sorry for us and turned around. He asked us where we had came from and we asked him how far to the ranger station. It was just ¾ of a mile. Ohhh we can do that nooo problem, we told him. Foolish pride. So on he went in his truck…and on we stumbled down the road. He must have had second thoughts…or else we really looked that pathetic. He came back and warned us that construction was going on and maybe it would be best if we just jumped in the truck. I warned him that we were dirty. It was best that we rode in the back. I’m sure we didn’t smell too fresh either but I kept that to myself. We threw our packs in the back and positioned ourselves on the tailgate. The ranger turned on his blue flashy lights. We passed construction workers who chuckled when they saw us. Oh well. The breeze felt good.

Once back at the station I called Bryan’s cell phone and left a message. I knew he was at work but couldn’t for the life of me remember his office number. I COULD blame the exhaustion but everyone that knows me…knows that I can’t remember numbers. So I settled for leaving a message on the cell.

My dear Squirrel and I dragged ourselves and our bags up to the welcome station. The attendant was out to lunch. We settled under a tree. I found Bryan’s work number in my phone and patiently waited for a chance to use the phone again. Finally, the “out to lunch” sign was taken down. I gave the nice lady a forlorn look and asked to use the phone. I assured her it was local. It was now time to admit defeat and speak to the hubby. I could actually hear the smile on his face. He would be on his way shortly. So it was back outside under a tree to wait for a couple of hours.

Squirrel read a book and I dozed. Well I tried to anyway. We munched on our trail snacks and enjoyed using the lovely restroom facilities. The many rangers that were driving around checked on us…and waved any time they passed. The Pickett State park employees are very helpful and friendly.

Finally, my love showed up and loaded us into his truck. We made a stop for gas and a nice frosty Pepsi. Then we were homeward bound. We dropped squirrel off at her place then a few minutes later we were back to our house. I gave my hubby and fur babies a kiss. It was time for a hot shower. I slept for about eighteen hours straight.

Our disastrous adventure was done. It had some awesome moments. I will re-plan…re-pack…re-evaluate. Eventually, attempt it again. No trail will get the best of me. Until we meet again Sheltowee Trace…I bid you adieu.

Celtic Woman: Songs from the Heart

2010-04-15T09:23:00.005-05:00

On Tuesday night Bryan took me to see "Celtic Woman" at the Civic Auditorium in downtown Knoxville. This is the second time we've seen a live performance and it was not disappointing. The new songs are hypnotic. The group performs music that makes you feel good from the inside out. They threw in some old favorites and even had a famous bagpiper in the line up. It's a must see show if you ever get a chance. I can't wait to get the new album on my iPod!

Fundamentals of Photography 1 Final

2010-03-25T11:28:00.004-05:00

(My best shot from Fundamentals #1)

Well Dove and I survived our first class. We're moving on to Fundamentals of Photography II. Class begins April 5th. Two down...six to go!

Flower Power - Spring 2010

2010-03-20T11:36:00.007-05:00

Spring has hit the McDaniel household. And who is responsible for planting the 17 creeping phlox, 5 rose bushes, and 14 azalea bushes?

Behold

My handyman extraordinaire!

Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland

2010-03-14T11:18:00.006-05:00

This past weekend I borrowed a couple of “Squirrel Friends” little ones and took them to see Tim Burtons “Alice in Wonderland”. It’s a very interesting take on the story. Alice is grown and she revisits the magical world at the end of the rabbit hole. Johnny Depp is a perfectly mad…Mad Hatter. He reminds me of the cartoon version of the mad hatter from the Disney movie. The red queen is brought to life by Helena Bonham Carter. She is the epitome of a female villain and she fits the role perfectly. Tim, Johnny, and Helena are a dream team. Anne Hathaway gave a very ethereal performance as the white queen. She has a very childlike quality anyway so it added to the innocent sugary sweetness that is the perfect white queen. The entire cast was great including the computer generated characters. It all meshed together wonderfully. The “underland” was beautiful from the giant mushrooms to the immaculate castles. I can't wait to own it!

Harbingers of Spring

2010-03-07T11:31:00.003-05:00

Finally a warm day. The sky is bright blue and the sunshine is bringing life back to the planet. My fur babies are soaking it up. Spring has sprang! Now where's my hammock?!?!

Field Trip #2 - Downtown Knoxville

2010-03-06T12:22:00.000-05:00

Cade's Cove - Photography Field Trip #1

2010-02-20T13:36:00.000-05:00

Valentine's Day 2010

2010-02-14T12:19:00.001-05:00

Per tradition, I told "The Man" not to lavish me with gifts this year. He never listens of course :smirk:. I now have a gorgeous curio cabinet in my living room and I love it! We had a wonderful night of Champagne and snuggling on the couch.

Disclaimer: If you don't like lovey dovey mushy sappy stuff...don't continue reading.

Nowadays Valentine's day is all about flowers, chocolate, jewelry etc. Fact is...those in a relationship should celebrate their love for each other every day and it has nothing to do with gifts. I'm not saying I don't love the gifts Bryan gives me. He has wonderful taste. Point is, this isn't a post about what I got for Valentine's Day...it's about what I already had.

Dear Bryan,

I love you every day in every way regardless of the holiday. I'm sorry if I don't show it enough.

Forever yours,

Farrah Leigh

Cumberland Falls - Corbin KY

2010-02-07T12:06:00.004-05:00

Photography assignment #1

It was a frigid day at the falls. Dove and I got plenty of practice in with our cameras. I can't wait to go back and possibly capture the Moonbow. Thanks for the trip Dove!

Trial #5

2010-01-27T10:28:00.002-05:00

Needles and tests

Blood and tears

Helplessly waiting

With repressed fears

In pleading prayer

Answers are implored

Desiring Insight

Of Gods accord

Excess of science

Diagnosis is devoid

Left wanting

Barren and destroyed

Lost in silence

I am broken

Angered frustration

Is left unspoken

The big 3 - 0

2010-01-02T12:34:00.001-05:00

Well..it happened....the last day of being a "20 something" has passed. I am now...THIRTY. My sweet hubby made the day a wonderful one despite my "doom and gloom" mood. He spent the entire day working on a made from scratch carrot cake. He even made the icing. It was the best cake I've ever had and the fact that he put so much hard work into it made it extra special. He even had to go out and buy a mixer and some other various kitchen accessories. I lost count of how many places he went to in search of a specific size cake pan.

He showered me with gifts...as usual. He gave me tickets to see "Celtic Woman" in April. I'm very excited about that. He also satisfied my Nintendo fix with some more games for my DS. To top it off I got some shirts from one of my favorite stores, "Life According to Jake".

I got many warm birthday wishes from friends and family. I'm very blessed to be so loved. It softens the blow....of hitting 30....hard. I know I have said before that age is just a number. You are only as old as you feel. I don't feel ready to be 30 yet. I was under the impression that by 30 years old I would have a career...children...everything would be in place. I'd know my "calling". In a way I feel like i'm still sitting at the starting line ready to go. I still have lots of things to figure out...to see...to accomplish.

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

2010 New Year's Resolutions

2010-01-02T12:29:00.001-05:00

I am going to be more positive. I am going to see more, do more, and learn more. This year I want to travel and see what’s beyond my front porch. I’m going to create more art. I’m going to get my muse back. I’m pretty sure I scared her off or else she died of boredom. I’ve let my creativity become stifled or caged over the years…in a box…a cubicle to be exact. I’m learning to play the violin, and taking photography classes. I’m planning trips with my wonderful husband. I’m also going to make an effort to get to the Smokies more often with my kindred spirit of a hiking buddy. I’m going to enjoy the little things in life. There’s beauty all around us if we just slow down long enough to see it. I’m going to become more of a humanitarian. I’m going to give more. I’m making it a point to help more people…as well as our little furry friends. I’m going to put more effort into reducing my carbon footprint. I’m still much more wasteful than I should be. These really aren’t resolutions. They are more like lifestyle changes. I’m still working on becoming the person I want to be…slowly but surely.

A year in review - 2009

2010-01-01T12:25:00.000-05:00

I have to admit…2009 was one of the best years I’ve had so far. My dear husband seems to be happier than he’s ever been…despite the fact that he’s working two jobs and long hours. Our finances are under control which is a major stress relief. We are working to become debt free and are very close to getting there. I believe our marriage is stronger than it’s ever been. Our home is coming together. It’s an old house but we are slowly fixing/replacing everything. I went on some wonderful adventures with my kindred “Squirrel”. She is a very dear friend and I’m thankful I found her. I finally learned how to crochet. I’ve become a healthier and more positive (most of the time)…determined person. I’m well on the way to fixing my body and I have a game plan on becoming a mother…thanks to a wonderful doctor I found late in the year. I found a part of me that had been missing my whole life…my sister Stacy. I signed up for photography classes with my “sister” Dove. They actually don’t start until this year however in 2009 she found her passion and we share it…it was a great way to end the year.

Avatar

2009-12-20T12:10:00.001-05:00

Bryan and I saw Avatar in IMAX 3D. I have to say that it’s the best movie I’ve seen in a very long time. It’s about a planet that Earth is allied with. It is populated with many amazing animals and a race of beings called Avatars. Humans are learning their culture as well as teaching the “savages” our language etc. They also have something on their planet that we want….but I’ll leave the rest of the story a surprise. The Avatars are beautiful creatures. Their world is amazing. I want to live in a tree with them! James Cameron created an entire catalog of new species….plant and animal. The movie has plenty of intense action, beautiful visuals, humor, and of course a love story…awwwww. It’s a definite must see. It’s one to add to the movie collection. FYI, I don’t recommend seeing this movie in 3D…..so much action….it made me sick...no...really.

It's Christmas all over again....

2009-12-20T12:06:00.002-05:00

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and a great New Year!

My sweetie and I are making our annual trek to Arkansas to spend time with his grandfather. Then of course we'll make a stop in Nashville to have a mini Christmas with his mother, step-dad, brother, and step-brother. We'll have an early Christmas with my parents before we leave the state. I've already celebrated the holiday at work. There are plans to have an after Christmas get together with my sister and her family. I'll be meeting them for the first time. Then last but not least I exchange gifts with my "sis". :phew:

To everyone that celebrates Christmas, please remember the reason for the season. God bless. Have a safe and happy holiday!!!

New Moon

2009-11-20T12:40:00.002-05:00

Sonia, Wendy, Wendy’s daughter Kaitlyn, and myself went to see New Moon on opening night. Are we crazy? Most definitely. The date had been marked on my calendar for almost a year. I pre-ordered the tickets weeks in advance. I was excited like a little school girl the entire day anticipating the movie. Pathetic...I know. I’m 29 years old and I’m drawn into the Twilight series like a little teeny bopper.

The movie did not disappoint. There was action…drama…comedy. It followed the book perfectly. I have to admit I did switch over to “Team Jacob”. I was as torn and confused as Bella. Every scene was…for lack of a better description…pretty. The characters…the scenery…all gorgeous. Yes…the movie was chock full of wolfy eyecandy. The boy turns into a 109 degree hunk of werewolf and the crowd turns into a mob of drooling cougars and pumas. We can’t forget Edward, the sexy brooding sparkly vampire. Contrary to what most men think…Edward and Jacob are not the only reasons women of all ages love this movie…and the Twilight series.

Bella is just an average girl. She’s awkward and clumsy. She’s pretty but plain. There’s really nothing special about her at all…and somehow…she has two “men” that would die for her. Edward and Jacob love her and only have eyes for her. To them, the sun rises and sets in Bella Swan. What woman wouldn’t want to be desired…loved…wanted like that? Who wouldn’t want a man so devoted to her that he would do anything to protect her….to spend his life with her? Guys, I hate to break it to you but it has nothing to do with some silly crush or teenage love story. A woman wants to be loved for who she is. We want to be desired. It’s THAT simple.

Thankful

2009-11-19T13:16:00.001-05:00

I know it’s early but since everyone in the free world has been pushing Christmas since before Halloween…I might as well get on with my Thanksgiving thankfulness. I can’t say I am big on this holiday. At least…I’m not keen on its origins. However I do have some very fond memories of family get-togethers. Also, it was just a few days before Thanksgiving in 1997 when I started dating my husband. Anyway I digress….I’ll get on with it.

I’m thankful for my faith. My God is my strength and I’m not sure where I would be without Him.

I’m thankful for my parents. At times they drive me crazy but I know that no matter what, they are there for me. They have worked half their lives to give me everything I need and then some. They are my world and I love them very much.

I’m thankful for my husband. We’ve both grown up together. I’m very thankful for the twelve years I’ve spent with him. I’ll keep praying for another year…and another. He still gives me butterflies and I’m thankful for that.

I'm thankful for my family...close and distant. Family is what matters most.

I’m thankful for trust, patience, forgiveness and love…as well as hope….I could always use a little more.

I’m thankful for my friends, the ones I’ve had for many years as well as new friends. I love you all dearly.

I’m thankful to have a friend that I call sister. We are two peas in a pod and we share a brain.

I’m thankful to have finally met my sister and for Facebook…the tool that helped us find each other. The puzzle is complete and we can heal. I love her like I’ve known her my whole life.

I'm thankful for my hiking buddy and fellow squirrel. We are definitely kindred spirits.

I’m thankful for the doctors, the ones that are going to help me to have a child.

I’m thankful for the chance to be a mother.

I’m thankful to have a job when so many people are out of work.

I’m thankful to have a home, clothes to wear, food to eat, a car to drive.

I’m thankful for the Smokies…the trees…the creeks…the rocks…bears etc. The mountains are my home away from home and I need them like I need air.

I’m thankful for our soldiers.

I’m thankful to live in a country where I have freedoms.

I’m thankful for my sweet furry babies. They take all the stress away and make me smile every day.

I'm thankful for books and coffee...and a thirst for knowledge.

I’m thankful for my health.

I’m thankful for the ability to cope, to deal with things and become stronger from them.

I’m thankful for all the opportunities I have….a chance to go back to school…to learn new things…to see parts of the world. I’m thankful for the lessons I have learned:

Cherish every moment
Tell those you love that you love them often because you don’t know when it’ll be the last chance to tell them
Listen more, speak less
Watch where you put your feet
Laugh at yourself
Leave no trace
Smile more
Push yourself
Finish what you start
Be more positive
If you want something go for it
Don’t wait for tomorrow, live for today.

I’m sure I’ve left something out. I always do. Oh I know!

I’m thankful for four-day holiday weekends!!!

Hiking Adventure #4

2009-11-18T18:57:00.000-05:00

Jessica's AKA Hammy's first overnight hike

It was a gorgeous morning in the Smokies. The leaves were just starting to change. Vibrant shades of yellow, red, and orange. The chipmunks were out in full force. The trail was just an old road bed. Needless to say, it was a brisk beautiful walk to campsite #24. Sure I took an unintentional bird bath in a creek. Ricekrispy did a slippery slide into the creek herself. Refreshing!

Rice Krispy, Hammy, and I kept a decent pace and we made it to the campsite by around one o’ clock. Of course it was much too early to stop hiking for the day. If it was THAT easy we could surely make it to campsite #30 with nooo problems. We had plenty of water…we had a nice sit down…fuel in the tank. The twelve year old was doing great, Rice Krispy was keeping her heavy pack up, my feet were feelin’ fiiiine. So off we go to campsite #30….or what I now call…”The Island”. The trail became smaller. The old road bed ended and we were back to a more natural trail. Good. We like it that way. Then…we came upon some rather large…rather unavoidable…fallen trees. We managed to maneuver…very carefully…arch the back…one leg…two legs….BALANCE THE PACK…to the other side. Another tree….and another…ANOTHER? Hammy hopped her way over the trees…ahhh to be young again…arg. Then came the water crossings. Some were deep enough to barely cover the boots…others knee deep. I have to say it was the first time I did the splits in a creek :giggle:.

Are we there yet? Wait...where did the trail go? Complete wash out…over a chasm of rocks…up a bluff…down another bluff…and we were back on the trail again. The lady hikers marched on. A gentleman carrying a fishing pole with a camping sleeping bag attached to his back merrily greeted us and then went on his way...onward and upward. He was wearing jeans…and carrying a load…and boy was he moving fast :sigh:. Just when we thought it was almost over…the trail took a nosedive…straight DOWN. What else is this trail gonna throw at us? I...delirious with exhaustion…just sat my butt right in the middle of the trail. ::Giggle:: easy trail…noooo problem…HAH!

So we sat…and we thought of ways to get down that would not end in one of us breaking something. I thought…I’ll scoot down on my rear. Perhaps we could just throw our heavy packs down. Then…we saw him. The smiling man with the fishing pole. His pack was gone…that must be the campsite right…over…there! ::Squeel:: Figures…I collapsed right before we found camp. Ok…we can do this! The packs were strapped back on. We hiked right down the ravine. Ok...not as bad as it looked. Ahh I heard the sounds of a creek…on both sides of us. We were surrounded. I could SEE the firepit of the campsite…it was so close...and yet…so far away. Surely we weren’t supposed to climb over rocks and through a swift moving creek…and...up a bluff to get to it. So…on we went…and before we knew it…the trail had ended and we were worming our way through a grove of thick low trees. They looked like mini magnolias.

Water…more water…deeper…wider…all around. I got my survival whistle and blew it until I was blue in the face. The fisherman had vanished :poof:. Ok let’s back track…no…definitely not another branch of the trail. Back and forth…back and forth. Daylight was fading fast. Ok...I cry uncle…stealth camping anyone? No..no…no good spots. A firepit would be glorious. Ok…only one way up there. Over the rocks and through the knee deep fast moving cold water we went…then…up a bluff. Ahhh. Finally. I was going to stay there and live forever and always. I’ll send for the husband and dogs! “Tell me again why we do this?” said Ricekrispy. “Because we love it!” I said with a smile to keep from CRYING!

It was time to set up camp. “The Island” was damp and cold but the view of the water on each side was a lovely sight to behold. The trees were magnificent. It was secluded. We made it!

Ok the tent was up…the hammock was hanging…the packs were far enough away. What bear in his right mind would think of coming over here eh?! The camp stove worked like a dream. For once, we had warm food in our stomach. The wet socks etc were thrown over a laundry line. The boots…marinating on some rocks. It’s was pretty darn close to hikers midnight. The air was chilly. It was time to curl up on the ground and think about sleep. The 12 year old was my tent mate. At one point I was almost certain she was a little tree frog. I almost threw her out of the tent before I snapped to the realization that she was indeed Hammy. What a night it was.

I thought the sun would never come up. It's amazing how the simple things in life...the most wonderful things in life are the ones we take for granted...or just forget about. The sun is an amazing orb of warmth and happiness!!! I was up before everyone. Snapping photos and saying goodbye to this...island. Time to pack it all up...fill'er up with water. Achy cold sleepy bones were moving a little slower. We were off again...into the morning mist.

We made it over all the obstacles with no problems. They were much easier to tackle after a night of rest. We were flying back down the trail in record time. We had all gotten our second winds! Now it was time to try Cucumber trail. Why not? We want to cover as much trail as we can. It was very interesting to say the least. The trail was deep in the woods and made me feel as if I was on a jungle expedition. It was decorated with hanging vines and tree roots...definitely one of the more scenic trails we had been on. Majestic trees...deep ravines...mossy boulders...all very nice. It was mostly up hill and I lived up to my trail name..Inchworm. As I huffed and puffed I yelled to RiceKrispy "Tell me why we do this?!?!?!" "Because we LOVE it!!!" was the reply...of course.

Another hiking trip over. We survived. Hammy has earned her hiking boots. A hot shower brings us all back to life. My bed never felt so good!

All Girls Camping Trip '09

2009-09-27T12:14:00.002-05:00

Well things didn't go exactly as planned. The sky opened up and it rained...and rained...and rained. However, the view was still gorgeous, the campfire was hot and the food was great. Many laughs were still had and I can't wait to do it again. Mother nature only added to the adventure!

Thanks Dove!

Octagon Hall's 150th Anniversary Celebration

2009-09-19T11:38:00.027-05:00

Located in Franklin Ky, the Octagon House was built in 1843 by Andrew Caldwell. During the Civil War, Caldwell offered shelter to many confederate soldiers.

Octagon Hall is a very unique structure. It was built over a span of 16 years. The foundation blocks were quarried from natural limestone deposits in the area. The bricks were made by hand on site. One of Caldwells slaves was a very skilled craftsman. He carved the eight-sided posts that are a part of the banisters in the main stairwell and all the interior woodwork. The trees on the grounds are very unique as well and some are the oldest and largest in the state of KY.

Octagon Hall was used as a hospital for wounded soldiers

Mary Elizabeth's Room

The kitchen where Mary Elizabeth was badly burned. The story is that she was playing near the fire and an ember popped out onto her dress. She was very badly burned and only lived for a few days after the incident.

The final resting place of Elizabeth Caldwell, Mary Elizabeth, and a small son.

The gate to the slave cemetery

The Cyprus grove around the slave burial plots

Slave quarters

The new owners of Octagon Hall, Billy and Barry Baird, are researching some of the unmarked graves and giving them a proper grave marker.

This behemoth of a tree was planted near the time the house was built. It is breathtaking to see in person.

Gorgeous Farm

On the Left: PAUL BROWNING, author and founder of CGH

On the Right: TOMMY GOLDEN, author and founder of MTGC

KEITH AGE

Paranormal Investigator

Host of SyFy Channel's "Spooked:The Ghosts of Waverly Hills Sanitorium"

Founder of Louisville Ghost Hunter's Society

The "Rock and Roll" ghost hunter

RHIANNON WAITS

Psychic-Author-Talk Show Host

Secrets

2009-09-15T20:45:00.001-05:00

I know that the internet is not the place to air personal family matters. People do it all the time. I find it a bit disrespectful. However, in this case, I will make an exception. Writing is my therapy. Words are my medicine. Not only that... but I feel the need to tell the world because some secrets need to be told.

I'm not going to play the blame game or name names. I love my family...every dysfunctional piece of them. The good intentions and the horrible mistakes...are all a part of the story. I'd like to think that everything happens for a reason. I'm the product of an ugly secret and bad judgment but I know I'm not alone.

It's amazing how you feel when you know all the facts...the whole truth...when every piece of the puzzle clicks into place. I feel like someone opened a book that I buried deep inside of me and now I can sort through all the pages inside and put them in order. I can make sense of them. I can heal. There's still time for a happy ending.

I've accepted the fact that I'll never truly know why I was cheated out of knowing my sister for so long. An apology and an explanation can not bring back all those years.

I'm such a "daddy's girl". It's hard to accept that the man I looked up to did something so horribly wrong. The hero can't be a coward...a scared child. I love him dearly. I still want to believe that he is a good man that made some very poor decisions. I still remain completely heartbroken. However, I'm a forgiving person. Forgiveness and honesty is something that was left out of "the plot" way too often. I won't make the same mistakes. Life is too short.

God has a way of setting things right. We have found each other. I have 29 years worth of things to tell her. I'm going to know her and I'm going to shout from the mountain tops the fact that I do. We can close that chapter of our lives and make the next ones the best ever :-).

Adoption day

2009-09-13T20:40:00.000-05:00

Seven weeks went by so quickly. My three little girls were picked up by their new owners today :pout:.

The little Vienna mini me (on the left) went home with Shirley, a lady I work with, and her hubby.Evidently she's a talented escape artist. She also insists on sleeping next to Shirley's husbands boots.

My chubby girl (in the middle) lives with Belinda's mother (I work with Belinda as well).She has been named Abby after a character on the show NCIS. She is just like her daddy Oskar.

The sweet little fluffy runt belongs to Belinda and her hubby Stew. She is
the most laid back out of the trio and loves to be held and snuggled.

I miss them so much!

*Update*

My girls have names. In order from left to right:

Sophie, Abigail, and Winnie

The Fruit and Berry Patch

2009-08-01T11:33:00.008-05:00

This is my new favorite place. The farm offers everything from strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, peaches, sweet corn, local honey and much much more. Check out their website for more info:

The Fruit and Berry Patch

I forced the hubby and my parents to go to the farm....then I put them all to work picking berries for me Mwahahahahah

Just enough for a kettle of dumplins :-)

The smell was divine!

One little...two little...3 little weiner dogs

2009-07-24T11:27:00.004-05:00

Oskar and Vienna are proud parents of 3 little girls!

Born July 24th 2009

They are adorable and I would love to keep them. However, they have already been adopted. I will post adoption pics in 7 weeks when they leave to be with their new parents :sniffle:.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

2009-07-23T11:25:00.002-05:00

So of course....per tradition...I dragged Bryan out to see the new HP movie. Constance and her brood came along with. I will say that I was a bit disappointed with the lack of Tonks. I would have also appreciated more of Luna....she's a great comedic relief character. I know there's always going to be things from the book that don't make it to the big screen. Also, I know that there's going to be things added in to "spice" up the movie so I can't complain too much. The movie was great. I particularly enjoyed the drama between Ron and Hermione. As usual, it only makes me want more. I can't wait for the next movie!

Hiking Adventure #3

2009-06-14T12:20:00.007-05:00

So Rice Krispy and I decided that with it being mine and Shamrock’s 5^th wedding anniversary, why not spend the weekend atop Gregory’s bald among the flaming Azaleas? Sleeping under the stars....romantic right? Well things didn't go exactly as we had planned. Because of the KSO 75th anniversary concert for the park in Cades Cove; access to the bald was impossible. Why didn't the rangers tell us this when we called the evening before? Or else when we got to the station to get the backcountry permit??? At any rate.....we found an alternate trail. We hiked up Anthony Creek trail and stayed at campsite #9. It was a short 4 mile hike but boyyy was it a hot one.

"All packed and ready to go!"

"Ox, Shamrock, and RiceKrispy having a sit down"

Things heard this trip:

I hurt, I stink, I'm ready to go home! - RK

I saw a bear! :arms flailing: - RK

No more clif bars!!! - IW

"Stubborn Inchworm!" - RK

"Men make big fire!"

"Oh dear"

Lessons Learned:

Campsite #9 is gnat central
You might not hurt the day after....but you WILL hurt the day after that!
Beware the no-see-ums...'cause you won't see 'em...until it's too late.
Find a better bug spray
Bears and Bryan's snoring...sound the same at times.
Unzipping the sleeping bags and useing them like blankets....NOT a good idea...even if you do have a warm body to snuggle against.
Women get very desperate when "they gotta GO"

"This felt soooo good after the hike!"

"Beautiful tree tops over the campsite"

"The tree swallowed a boulder"

"I'm pretty sure this guy passed me."

Regardless of the heat...the sleepless night...and the bug bites...I had a great time :-). I'm glad the hubby was there to share it with me.

5 Years

2009-06-11T14:24:00.006-05:00

Happy anniversary love. I love you as much now, if not more, than I did so many years ago. I can't wait to enjoy the next 100 years with you. You are the greatest!

My love, I love, I love you my lover

My heart will never belong to another

Your love, you love, you love me the same

So much it leaves my soul set aflame

Never, oh never, I'll never leave you ever

I'll be with you long past forever

Show me, please show me, show me the way

To keep our love growing day after day

....Like shooting stars....

2009-06-08T13:04:00.002-05:00

I want to be loved unconditionally...wanted...needed...unconditionally
Despite morning breathe, a bad hair day..how much I weigh.
No matter how ugly I act some days anddespite stubborn or jealous ways
I want to be loved unconditionally...desired...trusted...unconditionally.

The trail that leads to the road that leads...to nowhere.

2009-05-31T12:20:00.001-05:00

Hiking adventure #2

From this day forward I shall be known on the trail as "Inchworm".

(The view from Andrew's Bald)

Two trails diverged in the Smokies and I....I took the one less traveled by...and the thorns made many scrapes and scratches. (Forney Creek/Forney Ridge....we took Forney Ridge)

(Andrew's bald - great picnic spot)

Famous last words: “Ooooh what about THIS trail?”

Lessons Learned:

Don’t forget to break in the new shoes...and then remember...and then forget again.
Motrin is a staple
I need bigger bandaids
40 degree bag + hammock + Late May = Sweating on the top...freezing on the bottom. YES you can be hot and cold at the same time!
Learn to look up and down at the same time...darn tree branches and rocky trails. (Right RiceKrispy?)
Flaming Azaleas are beautiful…so are the “tunnels” of Mountain Laurel.
Must buy ankle braces.
I love horses...I hate horses.
If someone walks in front of you, you don’t have to worry about spiderwebs J.
When you see your trail buddy flailing her arm…it’s a spiderweb.
I need a hat with netting….gnats are not tasty critters.
When you are tired and sleep deprived….dung beetles are extremely amusing.
Sleep near creek….pee all night.
Ricekrispy has a hard time keeping leaves out of her shorts.
Telling a snake to move faster along the trail…doesn’t work….they don’t listen.
I cant avoid the “Hiker shuffle” no mater what I do. ::Sings-Everybody's doin' a brand new dance now..come on baby...do the hiker's shuffle::

(Home sweet home...Zzzzz)

(The Chimney without a house - Campsite #71)

Heard on the trail:

"Just keep swimming...just keep swimming..."

"It's not that much farther"

"Just one more mile"

"It can't be that much farther right?"

"Think positive!"

"I see the junction sign!!!"

"Are you OK?"

"Du yu needs a vide?"

(Translation: Do you need a ride. Said by a very sweet lady at the Lakeshore trailhead)

:sitting at the junction of Whiteoak branch and Lakeshore trail. I have one boot off doctoring a monster blister. My ankles are aching. RiceKrispy has her shoes off and socks hanging on the junction sign. Her knees are throbbing.:

(The sounds of happy hikers in the background)

RK: I hear hikers. They sound happy.

Me: Hit them with the poles as they go by!

RK: Wow, what’s gotten in to you? You have a mean streak :laugh:

Me: (looks down the trail) Oh nevermind, they are on horseback.

RK: HIT EM WITH THE POLES!!!

Trail rules (Rules added this trip)

Finders keepers!
If you pack it in…pack it out (Tuna cans in the firepit…seriously?!). This also goes for other people offering to carry stuff out for you. Evidently if you look injured and pitiful….random guys will offer to carry stuff out for you. Just suck it up and keep going.
Always have a backup plan

"Go towards the light!"

The Road To Nowhere

Lakeview Drive was intended to run along the north shore of Fontana Lake, from Bryson City to Fontana. It's purpous was to provide access to the old family cemeteries. Due to an environmental issue the construction was stopped. The issue was later resolved but the roadwork never resumed. The roadwork ends about 6 miles into the park at a tunnel. Swain County residents gave the road it's unofficial name, The Road To Nowhere.

I'm not a trekkie

2009-05-27T20:24:00.004-05:00

Stardate 5.10.2009

Celtica's Blog

Ok...so I was never really into the whole Star Trek thing. Sure I watched the show. I remember most of the characters...along with the popular phrases. "The Trouble with Tribbles" of course was my favorite episode.

This movie blew me away. It was one of the best action movies I've seen in a while. I thought it was really well done. Chris Pine (James T. Kirk) and Zachary Quinto (Spock) fit the rolls perfectly. There was plenty of humor as well...not to mention some mushy lovey parts :-p. I thank the hubby for dragging me to see it.

Myrtle Beach 2009

2009-05-27T19:50:00.004-05:00

The sand has been cleaned from out the suitcase….the tan has already faded. Memories of pina coladas and crab burgers seem like they are from ages ago. Vacation is over. The peaceful shroud of utter relaxation….has been lifted. I am back in the box!

Thanks for a wonderful time love! I enjoyed every second :-)

Nashville Renaissance Faire 2009

2009-05-23T11:02:00.001-05:00

Waverly Hills - Ghost Investigation #1

2009-04-20T11:29:00.004-05:00

Waverly Hills, the building it is today, opened in 1926 in Louisville KY. It was a hospital for those suffering from Tuberculosis. 10,000 people died during Waverly's first 3 years. Dangerous treatments performed included Pneumothorax (collapsing or deflating a portion of the lung) and Thoracoplasty (removing 2-3 ribs so lungs could expand). By the 1950's TB was nearly eradicated thanks to the antibiotic, streptomycin. The hospital closed in 1961. It reopened a year later as Woodhaven Geriatrics Sanitarium. The state closed it in 1982 due to patient mistreatment and unusual experiments.

Room 502 is popular due to the fact that a nurse was said to have hung herself. Also, there's a story of another nurse who jumped from the window.

The body chute, otherwise known as the "Death Tunnel" was used to take bodies out of the hospital discretely. This was so that the patients would not get discouraged by seeing all the patients that had passed away. The numbers were very high. Any bodies that were not claimed were dumped into a mass grave not far from the hospital. The staff at Waverly would not disclose the location to our team of investigators.

While walking through the dilapidated halls of Waverly I noticed lots of graffiti and absolute destruction. Evidently, one of the owners of the building wanted to tear it down and re-build. However, Waverly is a protected site due to the history of the place. The owner encouraged vandalism etc in hopes that the state would change their mind. He even went as far as to dig deep holes in attempts to crack the foundation. All his attempts failed.

The current owners plan to re-do the old hospital and turn it into a haunted hotel. I'm curious to know what the "patients" will think about that. While I didn't see any ghosts, I did hear a few things that I can't explain. There's definitely an odd vibe to the place. Of course, how can there not be? The place was full of pain, sickness, and death. It was a hospital after all. Something like that has to leave a mark on a place.

Thank you Dudley for inviting me to go on an investigation with CGH. I'm sure we made TAPS proud ;-).

Trails

2009-03-27T10:10:00.000-05:00

The everyday pollution

all just falls away

with every step I take.

The boot beaten trail

is a spiritual path

that leads to wholeness.

With a fresh breath

and a face full of sunshine

I am truly free.

Trail Adventure #1

2009-03-24T09:34:00.006-05:00

Things I learned on my recent overnight hike ( For any of you that may decide to go on one):

Lessons learned:

-I need a lighter pack...50+ lbs...a bit much....even if it was just 14 1/2 miles...30 pounds should do.
-I need a lightweight sub-zero sleeping bag..I don't care if it's July...just get one
-Hammocks are meat lockers...take a lightweight tent.
-Horse trails are covered in poo...lots of poo....enormous amounts of poo.
-I can't get a fire going when i'm exhausted, freezing, and everything is wet...keep that in mind.
-A briar patch...while it may be secluded...is not a good place to pee
- Even if a filter bottle doesn't specify....even if you've had them in the past and not had to run water through them....DO IT ANYWAY...or else you'll be drinking black water...yum charcoal.
- I won't cross a creek twice to recover the best hiking stick in the world...goodbye "Lightning Bolt"
-Never get too tired to take your boots and socks off to cross water....or else have something handy and waterproof to cover them with.
- Don't run out of socks
- Don't go without sunblock...even if you are deep in the woods.
- Logs do not make good pillows
- Do not sweat....stop to dry off as much as possible
- No matter how tired you are..hang your pack up in a tree so that you don't freak out when you hear something rummaging through it while all zipped and drawn up in a mummy bag...whilst huddling around a nice smoke pit...whilst curled up against a log!!!!!!!!!!
- If the park ranger says it's gonna be 34...count on it being 24.
- Fingerless gloves...not a good idea....unless you don't care about missing fingertips.
- Granola bars freeze...however....do not try to keep your food warm by keeping it in your sleeping bag...if you don't understand why...don't go in to the woods at all.
- Boots and socks will freeze as well....don't leave them laying around the fireless fire pit.
- Keep your water bottle tucked in your sleeping bag no matter how cold the water makes you feel.
- Sometimes windburn, sunburn, and frostbite...are hard to distinguish
- Hiking socks are worth the $$$
- If you know you shouldnt wear cotton...then DONT!
- It's not a bad idea to carry some sort of fire starting kit with excellerant.
- Take a head lamp...you might look like a dork...but it's better than holding a flashlight in your mouth while trying to set up camp or find a good spot to pee.
- Always watch your feet...your ankles are very important...don't roll them 50 times like I did.

- Fork over the money for the good gear...you don't have to buy the best...but don't try to make due....it doesn't work.

- Also don't try to set up camp once you are already exhausted, frozen, and dehydrated....or else your poor hiking mate will end up worrying that you are going to just curl up and die....thanks RiceKrispy lol.

- The most important lesson of all: When you THINK you are going to freeze to death....and you don't...and you see the sun coming up the next day...it puts a whole new perspective on EVERYTHING. I need to thank God more often.

Yes I already knew most of this stuff...exhaustion, dehydration, and cold temps cause stupidity!

The white stuff

2009-02-03T12:28:00.002-05:00

It finally happened. TN got enough snow to frost the landscape. I know I know....everyone in IN, KY, and AR are telling me to GTH right now. I know they are in a state of emergency. I'm just happy to finally have some winter weather. These 60+ degree days just aren't right. I want seasons! It didn't even phase the weiners. They just carried on with their business like it wasn't even there. :shrug: